'I'm still here': 20 years with a bullet in his brain

Kobus van Wyk has lived with a bullet lodged in his brain for more than 20 years.

Doctors have warned that removing it would leave him with only a slim chance of survival.

Leaving it there, meanwhile, has meant coping with blackouts, migraines and crippling headaches almost every day of his life.

Today, the 43-year-old husband, father of three and full-time missionary speaks with quiet wonder about a life he says was marked by childhood abuse and tragedy, addiction, depression and, ultimately, survival.

He shared his harrowing story with Namibian Sun in the hope of reaching others battling trauma, addiction and suicidal thoughts and showing them there is hope and a chance to live a good life despite painful experiences.

Long before he survived the self-inflicted gunshot wound in early adulthood, Van Wyk said he narrowly escaped death as a six-month-old baby when his biological father allegedly attacked him with a traditional dagger known as an omukonda.

Recounting what he was allegedly told by relatives, Van Wyk said: "My mother found me and rushed me to the ICU. The doctors said the wounds were too deep and the knife was too big. They said the baby would die. But God kept me alive."

When he was in hospital, Van Wyk claimed his mother discovered that her husband was also allegedly sexually abusing their daughters.

"She left me in the hospital and went to fetch her daughters. She hid them in boarding schools before she came back for me. After that, she started running with me because my father was looking for us," he said.

His sister, Blom Wonder, remembers those years differently but reaches the same conclusion.

"Our father was very violent and beat up our mom because of alcohol. He actually stabbed baby Kobus because my mom wouldn't give him money for wine,” she told Namibian Sun.

“Yes, she sent us to hostels to keep us away from him," she said, adding that her father did allegedly sexually abuse them.

A life on the run

The family spent years moving from place to place before Van Wyk said his father eventually tracked them down to Windhoek when he was eight years old.

He said his father allegedly threatened them with a knife, pushed them into a bedroom, threw his sister onto the floor and sat down on the bed with their mother.

He recalls his father stabbing his mother in the knee before grabbing her around the neck.

"He pulled her over his lap because he wanted to stab her in the back," he claimed.

But his sister intervened.

"My sister jumped up and grabbed the knife. Her hand was cut badly during the struggle."

She then struck their father with a piece of metal, Van Wyk said.

Police arrived after his father allegedly attempted to take his own life while fleeing.

"I never heard that my father went to prison for any of the crimes he committed," Van Wyk said.

Another devastating loss

Van Wyk was nine when his mother suffered a heart attack and died in his presence.

"That left me in severe depression," he said, adding that the grief made him turn to alcohol and drugs.

For years, he attempted to numb the emotional pain that had followed him since infancy. Eventually, he reached a point where he no longer wanted to live.

At the age of 24, while living in Walvis Bay, he attempted to end his life by shooting himself between the eyes.

When he woke up in the hospital three days later, the doctors told him that his suicide attempt had failed and that the bullet was lodged deep inside the centre of his brain.

"They told me they couldn't remove it because I would only have a 20% chance of surviving surgery. They said I would have to live with the bullet for the rest of my life," he recalled.

Doctors warned him that headaches, migraines and blackouts would become part of his daily life.

After being discharged, he became dependent on painkillers, taking between 30 and 40 every day for about three months.

"I realised it wasn't the painkillers or the doctors keeping me alive. There had to be a higher power," Van Wyk said.

A new chapter

He began reading the Bible and read the Book of Matthew, where Jesus Christ was crucified for the people's sins and sicknesses.

That moment marked the beginning of a personal transformation.

"When I truly believed, God healed me from the pain," he said. “I’m a living testimony. When I look back at everything that happened in my life, I know God had another plan for me.”

With his faith restored, Van Wyk has since rebuilt his life from the wreckage of his past.

Van Wyk has been married to Salome for 14 years. They are raising three children while doing full-time Christian ministry work.

"I'm living a happy, healthy life,” he said. “We have three beautiful children who serve the Lord with us.”

Salome said the brain injury still affects their everyday life.

Although the headaches have eased, she said, the blackouts have become more limiting.

Van Wyk said he does not seek sympathy for sharing his story but to give hope to those battling trauma, depression and suicidal thoughts.

“I should have died many years ago. But I’m still here. And if my life can encourage even one person not to give up, then everything I’ve been through has had a purpose,” he said.