Absentee father ghost haunts Namibia

Some of the men who took part in an Australian study titled Holes in My Memories spoke about the emptiness left by growing up without their fathers. For them, the absence was more than physical - it cut into their very sense of identity. They described missing pieces in their memories, a lack of guidance on what it means to be a man, and a sadness that trailed them into adulthood.The study, published in Issues in Mental Health Nursing in 2014, interviewed 21 men between the ages of 24 and 70. Researchers found that father absence often left deep emotional scars. Many of the men recalled feelings of rejection and shame, alongside low self-esteem. Some battled with relationships, while others turned to anger or substance use. A recurring thread was a depression-like distress that had never been properly recognised or addressed.Namibian echoesThat sense of loss is mirrored thousands of kilometres away in Namibia, where Kavango East governor Hamunyera Hambyuka recently raised alarm during a visit to Ngcove Junior Primary School in Rundu’s Ndama settlement.Confronted with classrooms filled mostly with children from fatherless homes, Hambyuka did not hide his dismay.“I am shocked to see so many children without fathers. Where are all the fathers? Men should not abandon their children but start supporting them,” he said.He warned that children without fathers often wait longer to access state services. “A child without a father takes longer to benefit from home affairs or any government grants,” Hambyuka stressed.Residents in Ndama welcomed his remarks, saying his directness gave them hope that the issue would no longer be ignored.A crisis in the numbersThe statistics back Hambyuka’s concerns. According to the Namibia Demographic and Health Survey of 2013, more than half of children aged 2–4 (53.4%) live only with their mother, despite the father being alive. Among babies under two, the figure was 40.6%. The same survey found that 28% of children under 18 live with neither parent even though both are alive, pointing to kin-care and fosterage practices.The 2023 Population and Housing Census showed that 7.6% of children under 18 have lost at least one parent, while 1.2% are double orphans. For the majority, however, the absence of fathers is not because of death but because of relationship breakdowns, migration, or abandonment.A 2023 study by University of Namibia researchers Janine Van Schalkwyk and Shelene Gentz found that children cope best when they maintain close ties with at least one parent, when parental conflict is reduced, and when schools and communities play a supportive role. The study noted that continued contact with non-custodial fathers was especially important in helping children adapt.The deeper tollThe consequences of absent fathers extend beyond childhood. Across Africa and globally, studies show that children in such situations are more vulnerable to poverty, food insecurity, behavioural problems, and school dropouts. Girls often face difficulties with confidence and relationships, while boys may replicate patterns of aggression or disengagement.The damage also echoes into adulthood. A 2022 study by Anne Cleary, published in Frontiers in Sociology, looked at young men in Dublin who had attempted suicide. It found that strict masculine expectations and emotionally distant father–son relationships left many men unable to share their distress or seek help. Suppressing emotions became a way of life, but in times of crisis it pushed them toward self-destructive actions.The Holes in My Memories study revealed similar themes. Men spoke about mistrust, the struggle to form stable bonds, and the absence of role models for fatherhood. Some carried unspoken grief that re-emerged in moments of vulnerability. While the study did not measure suicide directly, its findings reflect what suicide researchers identify as key risk factors: long-term depression, suppressed emotions, fractured identity, and poor paternal bonds.A national conversationHambyuka’s words in Rundu resonate beyond the community he addressed. They mirror Namibian survey data, local academic findings, and international research that all point to the same conclusion: father absence is not only a private family issue, but also a public health challenge.For Hambyuka, the call is urgent: “Men should not abandon their children but start supporting them.”Speaking to Namibian Sun on Friday, he went further, noting that in some cases men are outright denying paternity, leaving women and children in limbo. “There is confusion there. One day, the women say it is this one, and the next day they say it is another man,” Hambyuka said.

Absentee father ghost haunts Namibia

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Namibian Sun 2025-12-31

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Absentee father ghost haunts Namibia

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Namibian Sun 2025-12-31

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