THE ROAST: They will moer each other again over Namport’s N$90m

I hear the factions of Namibian football are in the gym, preparing to take each other on after Namport’s announcement of a N$90 million funding package.

Somewhere, a man who hasn’t attended a match in six years is doing push-ups, preparing to fight for the future of Namibian football.

Old grievances are climbing back through the window in brand-new tracksuits.

Some have reportedly abandoned their retirement plans, others are dusting off old constitutions, while those who disappeared when the money dried up are suddenly remembering that football is their first love.

Another is checking whether his suspension has expired. A third is consulting a lawyer to establish whether he can still claim to be the legitimate chairman of something. Even the fellows who spent years announcing that they were finished with football may soon return, explaining that they have been quietly consulting stakeholders.

My people, N$90 million is not a joke. That is N$30 million a year. Even people who cannot tell the difference between a corner kick and a throw-in are now discussing football development with the seriousness of a national security meeting.

The factions sat quietly in their corners, licking their fingers and wondering whether anything was left at the bottom of the old football pot. Nobody fights over an empty pot, and nobody calls an extraordinary congress when the only extraordinary thing is the absence of money.

Some of our football revolutionaries had become so peaceful that I nearly nominated them for the Nobel Peace Prize. Men who once threatened to take each other to court over promotion and relegation suddenly behaved like members of the same church choir.

But now Namport has arrived with N$90 million, and I suspect the choir is about to split into six denominations.

We have been here before.

Remember when MTC spent approximately N$160 million to support the Namibia Premier League over 19 years? That was enough money to build a respectable football institution, but our football administrators somehow managed to turn the beautiful game into a courtroom drama with the occasional guest appearance by a football.

Namport should perhaps include a few unusual clauses in its agreement. Matches must actually be played. League tables must be decided by goals rather than lawyers. Administrators must not spend more time at disciplinary hearings than players spend on the pitch.

And, most importantly, nobody should be allowed to form a breakaway league simply because his team finished near the bottom.

Perhaps the lean years taught everybody the value of peace, accountability and keeping sponsors happy. Perhaps. Let’s see how everyone feels once the first cheque clears.