EDITORIAL: Why Namibian marriages are collapsing
On Monday, the High Court had 111 divorce cases on the roll. One hundred and eleven. And yet, just weeks ago in December, Namibians were swooning over weddings, particularly in the northern regions, where churches were bursting at the seams with brides and grooms.
Clearly, we have a love affair – not with marriage itself – but with the idea of marriage. For many young Namibians, being called “wifey” or “hubby” is a thrill too sweet to resist. Marriage is imagined with fantasies of holding hands at the mall and cuddling in bed on lazy Sunday afternoons.
Yet, for many young men, the fantasy often centres on women’s looks – and yes, the physical perks of eternal intimacy. For young women, financial security is king. Good looks are icing on the cake.
But life is not a photoshoot. Fantasy weddings do not prepare you for the moments when money dries up, looks fade or calamity strikes. What happens when he’s diagnosed with cancer? She’s in a wheelchair? He loses the CEO job that made him irresistible?
Marriage in Namibia often feels like a performance: a checklist of appearances, weekend cuddles, Instagram-worthy photos and social approval. Love, loyalty, patience and sacrifice – the real muscles of long-term partnership – rarely make the highlight reel.
And yet, we keep lining up to sign the dotted line, eyes wide open to fantasy, blind to reality. Until we begin to confront the illusions we worship – the obsession with “hubby” and “wifey” status, the gold-standard income, the Instagrammable romance – expect the divorce courts to stay busier than the churches at wedding season.
Marriage is beautiful. But only when we stop treating it as a stage for performance and start seeing it as a lifetime of work, compromise and care.
Clearly, we have a love affair – not with marriage itself – but with the idea of marriage. For many young Namibians, being called “wifey” or “hubby” is a thrill too sweet to resist. Marriage is imagined with fantasies of holding hands at the mall and cuddling in bed on lazy Sunday afternoons.
Yet, for many young men, the fantasy often centres on women’s looks – and yes, the physical perks of eternal intimacy. For young women, financial security is king. Good looks are icing on the cake.
But life is not a photoshoot. Fantasy weddings do not prepare you for the moments when money dries up, looks fade or calamity strikes. What happens when he’s diagnosed with cancer? She’s in a wheelchair? He loses the CEO job that made him irresistible?
Marriage in Namibia often feels like a performance: a checklist of appearances, weekend cuddles, Instagram-worthy photos and social approval. Love, loyalty, patience and sacrifice – the real muscles of long-term partnership – rarely make the highlight reel.
And yet, we keep lining up to sign the dotted line, eyes wide open to fantasy, blind to reality. Until we begin to confront the illusions we worship – the obsession with “hubby” and “wifey” status, the gold-standard income, the Instagrammable romance – expect the divorce courts to stay busier than the churches at wedding season.
Marriage is beautiful. But only when we stop treating it as a stage for performance and start seeing it as a lifetime of work, compromise and care.
Comments
Namibian Sun
No comments have been left on this article