Why I hate technology

Is it just me or has the advent of technology made things more difficult? Okay, let me put it this way; the men who invented the telephone, the clock or the boat clearly did the world a favour and ought to be acknowledged eternally. So should the first man, or woman, who discovered for the first time that the wheels of the car have to be round for it to move smoothly. Those, and a whole lot of other inventions, simplified life and made our world a better place. But of late, I am not sure if scientists have lost their sense of discovery or are pulling a prank on the human race. Take the genius who invented the battery-driven toothbrush; all you gotta do is place it in your mouth and it will do the job. Seriously now, is that not why God created us with hands? That, my dear friends is no invention, just plain laziness. To top it all, some copywriter of some big agency reckoned it would be appropriate to attach a tagline, ‘Don’t waste your time brushing your teeth, let BrushMagic do the dirty work for you’. Seriously? The same copywriter is also guilty of claiming Colgate now comes with teeth whitening substances, or that by brushing frequently with Aquafresh you will remove cavities from your teeth. Correct me if I am wrong but aren’t those the very reason I buy toothpaste? So, what did Colgate have before it discovered this secret to eternal ‘tooth whitening’? I mean no offence, but has anyone wondered why it was necessary to have a central locking system for a car? What, it was time consuming locking each door manually? So it is now fine to part with a few extra thousands of dollars for a ‘central-locking system’ car? No wonder criminals are now pouncing on car owners with these remote gate controllers. My colleague was stressing the other day because she couldn’t get her car door open with the remote immobiliser as its batteries were weak. After several attempts she finally gave up and was about to hail a cab home for the day. Thanks to me, she didn’t. All I did was grab the keys from her and opened the driver’s door manually! Cell phones now have voice identification features; all you gotta do is whisper sweet nothings into the receiver and boom - your girlfriend is on the other end of the line. Was that really necessary? What had happened to old fashion scrolling of names in your phone book? Seriously, this world is indeed going to the dogs - provided they too don’t devise an instrument that will have them discussing last night’s episode of ‘Gabriella’ in human language! This is the same world that will have self-taught musicians who all started singing at the age of two. Switch to any celebrity gossip show on television, or page through similar magazines and all you will hear or read will be “I started singing at the tender age of two”. My mom used to take us to church and I was always the choir’s lead singer ….” At two? Really? What else did you achieve at that age, ran for president too? My sister, you can hardly remember your mom changing your nappies at that age, how in heaven’s name could you sing? What was the song - Baaaa, baaaaa, baaaa? Now they have flat-screen televisions which do the same job as normal ‘hunch-back’ television sets, albeit at a price three times higher. Of course the salesman will tell you that it has a ten times better picture and audio quality, but I still remember what Richard Dean Anderson of MacGyver fame looked like in 1987. Mind you, that was on the tiny black and white television set of our neighbour. Oh, and then comes DStv’s dual view decoder ‘something, something mechanism’! We are told that it allows you to watch two different channels on two different television sets, in two different rooms. I am telling you, I was having a tough time understanding it when the sales lady attempted to explain to me the advantages. So is that all people do at home - watch television, each in his own room? No communication? No interaction? Eish, I still prefer our neighbour’s black and white television - at least everyone was always there. Such has been the state of affairs this side of the great divide. Until then… [email protected]