The rise of the 'side chick'

It may have been unimaginable for our mothers and grandmothers, but an increasing number of women are choosing to become so-called ‘side chicks’. The Urban Dictionary defines the side chick as a girl or woman who gives you what you're lacking at home or with your significant other. The chick on the side's duties may include, but are not limited to: letting you vent frustrations, keeping a low profile and understanding that she is not the ‘main chick’ and can be dropped at any time with no explanation. She is apparently on call even if she hasn't heard from her lover in weeks or months. She is supposed to be less demanding than a mistress and more easily manageable, because she does not expect the man to lie about where and with whom he is. The side chick is apparently happy to be the hidden lover, because she has the space to do her own thing. Just recently Zimbabwean President Robert Mugabe revealed that most members of his Cabinet had “small houses”, because they were using their wealth to engage in extramarital affairs. Some women believe the thrill of being a side chick is in the thrill of committing the greatest taboo in womanhood - taking what’s not yours. Side chicks say they have the power to make or break the relationship. The reality is, however, slightly different. All lightness aside, cheating and deception, especially where a wife and children are involved, is a recipe for upheaval and pain. In truth, most cases girls pretend to be the perfect side dish simply to wait for the right time to swoop in and assume the place of the main dish, so to speak. What is undeniable is that if in some bizarre twist a side chick does become the main chick, the phrase “how you get your man is how you can lose your man”, may apply. The old adage “if he’s cheating on her, he’s cheating on you” also rings true. In a country like ours, where the fabric of society is being ripped a little each day and where passion killings and other social evils haunt us, the reality of side chicks is something that often draws sighs of concern. Perhaps it is important to remember that it is often the unequal power relationship between men and women in Namibia, especially financially, that fuels this phenomenon here.