Jokes

Does your dog bite? A man walks into a pub and sits down next to a man with a dog at his feet and asks: Does your dog bite? No, the man answers. A few minutes later the dog takes a huge chunk out of his leg. I thought you said your dog didn't bite! the man says indignantly. That's not my dog. Drunk violence One night, a drunk comes stumbling into a bar and says to the bartender: Drinks for all on me including you, bartender. So the bartender follows the man's orders and says: That will be N$136,50 please. The drunk says he has no money so the bartender slaps him around and throws him out. The next night the same drunk comes in again and orders a drink for everyone in the bar including the bartender. Again the bartender follows instructions and again the drunk says he has no money. So the bartender slaps him around and throws him out. On the third night he comes in, the drunk orders drinks for all except the bartender. What, no drink for me? replies the bartender. Oh, no, you get violent when you drink. School play A little boy in about the 4th or 5th grade tries out for a school play. He earns a part and goes home to tell his father. His father, really proud of him, asks his son: So what part did you get? I got the part of a man who has been married for 25 years, he replies. His father congratulates him, but then he says: That's good son, maybe next time you'll get a talking role! I want the mother A guy from Omaruru walks into a Windhoek restaurant, wanting to order chicken. Unfortunately he forgot how to say chicken in English. He sees some guys at the table next to him with a plate full of cooked eggs. He points to their table and says to the waiter: I want their mother! Rich man, poor man There were two guys in love with a woman. One was a teacher - he was very neat and rich. The other guy was poor, but also neat. One day the woman invited both men to her house. The rich guy put on make-up and sprayed himself with expensive perfume. The poor guy wore neat clothes and ate a lot of beans. While they were sitting there, the poor guy started to let off winds. So, the woman asked, Damn, what is that smell? The rich guy jumped up and said: Yes baby it's the smell of my perfume. The woman was so surprised that she told the rich guy to leave her house. She married the poor guy and they lived happily ever after.