Hellish road to child support
The state does not help single mothers to trace deadbeat dads who refuse to pay child support, leaving it up to the women to play detective.
Pleas by at least ten single mothers for help to trace fathers owing child support went viral last month and highlighted a weak legal structure that leaves many single parents in the cold.
The public posts, encouraged by a first post by single mother Azille Wesche of Swakopmund, evoked not only support but also mockery, shaming and in some cases threats of violence towards the mothers.
But the campaign was not based on a name-and-shame strategy, Wesche explained.
Wesche was instructed by court officials last year that child support court proceedings could not commence unless she herself supplied his residential or working address, which she did not have.
Although she reached out to his family and friends, her request was ignored.
Her social media post was the best option available to her to locate him.
“The law can't help me until I have his work address or residential address.
Our son is turning five now and I am still waiting for my child support,” part of the post read.
A long road to justice
A long-standing problem, the lack of investigative officers at maintenance courts in Namibia force single parents to do much of the legal footwork themselves.
A social worker advised Wesche that a cheap, but effective post on social media could help flush him out.
“Another social worker actually said I should hire a private investigator. Do you know how much milk and diapers and school fees cost? I am already trying to sue for child support, where am I supposed to get the money to pay a private investigator?”
She said the ordeal cemented the fact that “government doesn't help unless you have valid information or evidence. That upset me quite a bit.”
Legal barriers
Her actions followed years of fruitless and humiliating private negotiations with the father.
She claimed he had made only small and rare payments, totalling less than N$1 000 over the past four years.
The father, whose name is known to Namibian Sun, refused to comment on any questions posed to him telephonically yesterday, or to confirm his child-support contributions.
When Wesche approached the court for help in 2017, she was surprised by how difficult the legal road would be.
“My experience has been horrible,” she said.
The official she dealt with was “rude and arrogant” and said she could not help her without the required address.
Weshe said the experience made her realise that “government could put a little bit more effort to help mothers. There are a lot of single mothers out there. So it was weird that she could not do anything to help me. I have a certified copy of his ID. Why can't they track him down through the system?”
She nearly gave up.
“I got so fed up, I just thought, let's just leave everything and move on with my life. A year went by, but when I again asked him to help with child support, and he laughed, I said this guy has been making a fool of me long enough.”
Eventually she decided to use social media as a tool to locate him.
She posted a photo of the father and several screenshots of correspondence between the two on the topic of child support in recent months.
“I thought I was the only person going through this at this level. But once people started tagging me in their posts or messaged me, I saw it affected a whole bunch of women. I was quite angry.”
She acknowledged that “some mothers also abandon their children, and then the father should also make a case for child support. It goes both ways.”
A risky move
The social media posts were supported, but in some cases led to threats.
One mother, who copied Wesche and posted her child's father's photo asking for his address, said her former partner threatened to shoot her, if she did not delete the post.
“A lot of the men are really angry that I did this.”
Since January, her child's paternal family has chipped in with N$450 for school expenses. The father has stayed mum, she said.
“I am not leaving this. The school fund payment was just to shut me up. I don't know if he ever wonders what his son eats, or how he gets clothes. Life is very expensive.”
JANA-MARI SMITH
The public posts, encouraged by a first post by single mother Azille Wesche of Swakopmund, evoked not only support but also mockery, shaming and in some cases threats of violence towards the mothers.
But the campaign was not based on a name-and-shame strategy, Wesche explained.
Wesche was instructed by court officials last year that child support court proceedings could not commence unless she herself supplied his residential or working address, which she did not have.
Although she reached out to his family and friends, her request was ignored.
Her social media post was the best option available to her to locate him.
“The law can't help me until I have his work address or residential address.
Our son is turning five now and I am still waiting for my child support,” part of the post read.
A long road to justice
A long-standing problem, the lack of investigative officers at maintenance courts in Namibia force single parents to do much of the legal footwork themselves.
A social worker advised Wesche that a cheap, but effective post on social media could help flush him out.
“Another social worker actually said I should hire a private investigator. Do you know how much milk and diapers and school fees cost? I am already trying to sue for child support, where am I supposed to get the money to pay a private investigator?”
She said the ordeal cemented the fact that “government doesn't help unless you have valid information or evidence. That upset me quite a bit.”
Legal barriers
Her actions followed years of fruitless and humiliating private negotiations with the father.
She claimed he had made only small and rare payments, totalling less than N$1 000 over the past four years.
The father, whose name is known to Namibian Sun, refused to comment on any questions posed to him telephonically yesterday, or to confirm his child-support contributions.
When Wesche approached the court for help in 2017, she was surprised by how difficult the legal road would be.
“My experience has been horrible,” she said.
The official she dealt with was “rude and arrogant” and said she could not help her without the required address.
Weshe said the experience made her realise that “government could put a little bit more effort to help mothers. There are a lot of single mothers out there. So it was weird that she could not do anything to help me. I have a certified copy of his ID. Why can't they track him down through the system?”
She nearly gave up.
“I got so fed up, I just thought, let's just leave everything and move on with my life. A year went by, but when I again asked him to help with child support, and he laughed, I said this guy has been making a fool of me long enough.”
Eventually she decided to use social media as a tool to locate him.
She posted a photo of the father and several screenshots of correspondence between the two on the topic of child support in recent months.
“I thought I was the only person going through this at this level. But once people started tagging me in their posts or messaged me, I saw it affected a whole bunch of women. I was quite angry.”
She acknowledged that “some mothers also abandon their children, and then the father should also make a case for child support. It goes both ways.”
A risky move
The social media posts were supported, but in some cases led to threats.
One mother, who copied Wesche and posted her child's father's photo asking for his address, said her former partner threatened to shoot her, if she did not delete the post.
“A lot of the men are really angry that I did this.”
Since January, her child's paternal family has chipped in with N$450 for school expenses. The father has stayed mum, she said.
“I am not leaving this. The school fund payment was just to shut me up. I don't know if he ever wonders what his son eats, or how he gets clothes. Life is very expensive.”
JANA-MARI SMITH
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