Don't be a hater

“No one is successful to spite you.” This is one thing that stood out for me the past week. We all want to win and succeed in life but sometimes that is not easy. When other people do better than us we tend to get bitter. In our slumps, we can let emotions like envy and jealousy fester and take over. It is easy to develop hatred or feel a specific way about people's achievements especially when things are going wrong or too slow on our side of life.But you do not have to be envious or jealous. By all means, you need to learn from other people's success and cheer them on. Be happy for others and learn a thing or two from what they have done. Pick up a few life lessons and principles from others and use them to your benefit. You should be grateful for what you have. Sounds simple, but this is difficult when you're running low on cash or you're dateless and alone again on a Saturday night or your favourite pair of jeans stopped fitting a couple of months ago. And it's even harder if your best friend is rolling in the dough, has the sweetest spouse, and looks like a supermodel. But before you start decorating for that pity party for one, take time to reframe your perspective.Instead of focusing on everything that's going wrong (especially in comparison to others), focus on what's right. What is going well in your life? What's something that you kick butt at? Even if it's watching a television show like it's your job, wear it like a badge of honour. And then be grateful that you even have something you can look forward to in life because others may have nothing!Just know that whatever it is, there can always be a sunny side! Or, if you need to look at it with a little less pixie dust, just realise that things could always be worse.As an alternative of being jealous or thinking that your friends don't deserve their happiness, be inspired! Be happy that your own friends have such beautiful things happening in their lives and take it as a sign that it's possible (and likely) for you, too! Take the time to inspect the kind of things that your friends do that may be different from what you've been doing. Maybe they eat healthier or make time to volunteer or they meditate in the morning. Think about the healthy habits they have and consider giving some of them a try. The point is not to become all “bitter and jealous” and take someone else's identity, but to open your mind to more emotion-nourishing activities.Listen, I understand that it's difficult to be excited for other people when your life feels like it's falling apart. It's only human. And in those times when you can't muster up the ability to separate their circumstances from your own, take some space. It's okay! If you get angry every time you see this person update something positive on Facebook (or happy when they post something negative), then hide their profile from your feed. Don't give yourself fuel to keep yourself down. If you can't think anything nice, then it's better to not think about them at all. Keep your distance and work on YOU. It sounds counterintuitive, but the distance could actually SAVE your friendship. It gives you time to focus on your best assets outside of being compared to that person and lets your individual skills develop and flourish. Grow in your confidence so that when you're around that person again, you are secure in yourself and not threatened by their awesomeness (because you realise you have your own brand of it, too).Maximise on others' success and the world will reward you plentiful, you are wasting your time, energy and focus if you hate on other peoples success. Remember this is Africa “Ubuntu” is important. May I also remind you we are in Namibia, where we “Harambee” everything. That the culture you should carry with you at all times, spread love and positivity. We can all learn from each other if we put our heads together.When you are happy for others the world will reciprocate the same energy towards you. With the world being such a beautiful mess, we need to cherish each other. Until next time. Peri nawa!! shona@namibiansun.com

Don't be a hater

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Namibian Sun 2025-07-07

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Don't be a hater

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Namibian Sun 2025-07-07

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