Building resilience in the new normal

We all understand and have come to know the great diversity that is human nature and human personality. There are those who in times of significant stress just keep moving forward, irrespective of the many blows they are dealt.

We call this resilience, says clinical psychologist Maika Eysselein.

Then there are those who perceive most of their experiences, at a particular time, as highly stressful.

“When we are on holiday, with a 13th cheque in the bank account, it is not so difficult to be resilient. Regrettably, current circumstances are far from creating the kind of climate that supports resilience with human beings under significant stress.”

In order to understand how to build and/or maintain resilience, it is necessary to understand the brain’s reaction to the current situations, says Maika.

It is also important to understand the very unique definition of our mind and personality – to understand where the potential vulnerabilities lie, which cause us to lack resilience.

“In trying to make sense, we consider both – the brain and the mind.”

She explains anxiety as the feeling of unease and worry about that which we feel has an uncertain outcome. Anxiety can be understood on a continuum – different intensity, different presentation.

“We know the nagging feeling of stress as well as the overwhelming feeling of fear when we are under threat. All of this is anxiety and it relates to very specific processes in brain and body.”

When comparing the human brain to that of an animal, it is noted that the human brain developed to a greater extent.

We have a few more departments, says Maike. The part of the brain that anxiety is “steered” or triggered from, is however not all that different to the brain of an animal, she explains.

Imagine a little Springbok walking through the bush. His eyes send a message to his brain with an image of something that has the shape of a cheetah. What will the brain of the Springbok do? It will prepare the body of the Springbok, as quick and as best it can, to survive by fighting or running for its life.

“So it is only right that in such a moment of threat the anxiety is great enough to put into action what is necessary for survival. This is initiated by the brain and is a chain reaction of different messenger substances that get released into brain and body.”

Springbok life is quite simple. The life of a human being is not, says Maika.

We are faced with various threats, of various difficulty, context, and meaning, continuously. So how does anxiety become a problem? The part of the brain where the anxiety response originates from cannot differentiate.

Threat is threat and necessitates strategies for survival.

“Hence the anxiety reaction will happen whenever information about threat is registered. Only afterwards does that information reach the other parts of the brain that allow for analysis and weighing of the severity of the threat. Thus under certain conditions, our brain is bombarded with messages of threat and the ensuing anxiety could become overwhelming.”

Severe anxiety is significantly debilitating and the suffering is great. In the long run it has physiological consequences.

Cortisol, one of the substances released into the body during anxiety, is connected to amongst others a rise in blood pressure, cholesterol and inflammation.

“In order to allocate energy and resources to survival, some parts of the brain and body need to be shut down during the anxiety reaction. Concentration, energy, drive, motivation all decrease,” says Maika.

Continuous threats have the potential to create many adverse effects long after the situation may be resolved, she warns.

I’m wondering whether the reader will understand that here we are transition from a theory of the brain to a theory of mind? Perhaps it needs introduction?

Imagine your mind as being made up of 3 parts. Imagine them as characters within your personality, guiding you and influencing every step of the way: the one who takes care of you and makes sure all your needs are met (the caretaker). The one who guides you in terms of “doing things right” and “being good enough” (the overseer).

“Sometimes these two get into conflict – what I want and need is not always what I should be doing!”

Thus the role of the third part of our mind - the one who is the keeper of the strategies and skills to find a realistic solution to the everyday situations where the other two parts are in conflict (the mediator).

Imagine how these three parts of the mind may be contributing to our experience of current events.

The first part (caretaker) may be present in our thoughts the following way: “I am so very tired, I just want to sleep”; “I’ll do the work later – let me watch an episode of my favourite series”. Or, more dangerously, when we have neglected our wellbeing for too long: “Let me have a second/third/fourth glass – I’m finally relaxing”; “I just want some cocaine – it’s been a heavy, heavy day”.

“The “caretaker” certainly does not want to lead us astray but when ignored for too long, it will take matters into its own hands and morals are not part of its scope.”

The second part (overseer) is present in thoughts like: “Don’t make such a drama of this!”, “Pull up your socks”; “Others are far worse off than you!”; “These are tough times – I need to do better, be more!”.

For most of us, this part of our mind is over-developed, says Maika.

“We are all quite good at punishing ourselves with guilt and shame and driving ourselves to the edge of exhaustion.”

The third part of our mind (mediator) tries to find a middle way: “Let me book a holiday for when lock-down is over”; “Let me postpone that meeting for a day”.

Yet, if the “caretaker” and the “overseer” are not in so much conflict, the “mediator” has less to manage and we can focus our mental energy on other, perhaps more important matters.

We need to create a healthy mind by challenging that which does not fit the current situation, says Maika.

“We cannot expect ourselves to function in the same way as we did before. New situations warrant new guidelines.”

Build resilience by questioning what definitions inform your “overseer”, says Maika.

“In this current situation how can I realistically feel I am doing good enough without burning myself out”; “I am still a great mother in spite of not knowing how to teach my child her/his schoolwork”; “I am a good enough employer in spite of having to ask my staff to take a salary cut”. The more flexibly defined the rules that govern our lives are, the more scope for fulfilment they allow for.”

Listen to your “caretaker” without judgement and fulfilling some of your needs ie. “it is perfectly acceptable for me to need some time off and I will negotiate my leave in such a way that I am able to work half days for the next two weeks”. “I will ask someone else to help my child with her/his schoolwork today”.

“Anxiety is a natural response. If you find yourself becoming too anxious, seek support. There is nothing wrong with you. There is much wrong with the current situation.” – [email protected] ombilimentalhealth.weebly.com