Aunty Nangy
I want to leave him
Dear Aunty Nangy. I am a 16-year-old girl and I am dating a boy the same age as me. I have a real problem in my relationship. He is always accusing me of cheating on him which is not true at all. I want to leave him and focus on my studies. Please help me Aunty.
You are a wise girl for 16 to know that you must leave this relationship. On a daily basis, we read about gender-based violence and intimate partners being killed for cheating or, if the man thinks she is cheating. This is not a safe place for you at all. Clearly, your boyfriend is insecure and not very sure of himself. You are now entering your senior and most important years at school so yes, leave him. Break up with him, face to face, but make sure that you are at your home where an elder is around or somewhere where you know you are safe. Good luck child, and best wishes for your new school year.
He wants to marry
Dear Aunty Nangy, I am 19 and my boyfriend says he loves me very much and wants to marry me one day. Please Aunty, give me a little bit of advice?
This type of letter makes me very happy. I take it your relationship is healthy and sound and if you love him, then what is the problem? However, you are too young to marry now and both of you should finish your education and also try and qualify for something else after school. Make sure both of you are working also. Do not marry now or even in the next five years and please wait to have children? You are both young so you must enjoy your young love and build a life first before you have babies.
I want to have sex again
Dear Aunty Nangy, I am a boy of 17 and when I have sex I feel like I want to have sex again. What is the problem Aunty, please help me?
Firstly, you should not be having sex at such a tender age. You do not say if you are in a relationship or not and further, I am worried that you are not having safe sex, using a condom. In terms of feeling like sex again, you do not give me enough details to work with. It could be that you are not ejaculating properly or that you are very virile. After sex, most men are what you would call ‘spent’ and this indicates to me that you are not finishing up properly. You can try self-stimulation and see if that makes you feel more ‘spent’ otherwise, you should see a doctor.
He beats me
Dear Aunty Nangy, I really need your help. I am 26 and a mother of two children. My husband beats me. He beats me when the food is burned or when I get home late from work. He beats me if the children are naughty and he beats me if he thinks I am dressed like a prostitute. Also, if I do not want sex, he beats me. What must I do?
My dear, dear woman, you need to immediately get to a place of safety and take your children, whom I assume are still small, with you. Domestic violence is against the law and you should go and make a case at your nearest police station. I implore you to leave him. Your children cannot be raised safely in such a home and what lessons are they learning from their father? You do not say whether you have sons or daughters but if they are raised with this type of behaviour, they will think it is normal. Go to your nearest police station and find help. You can also get a restraining order if need be. I will pray for you.
Scared for my results
Dear Aunty Nangy, I think I failed Grade 10 and my parents will beat me if I did. I do not know what to do. Help me please.
When in life we meet challenges or make mistakes, the best thing to do is to learn from them and overcome them by doing better. Do not be disheartened child. 2017 is a new year and it will bring with it new opportunities. You can enrol at Namcol at repeat your year. Do not give up. Persevere. Not everyone in life that is successful passed every grade at school. Look at Sir Richard Branson – he is a multi-millionaire and he did not even finish school. Repeat your Grade 10 child, study hard and learn from the mistakes you made this year. Tell your parents you are sorry. Pick yourself up and go on. Good luck!
Dear Aunty Nangy. I am a 16-year-old girl and I am dating a boy the same age as me. I have a real problem in my relationship. He is always accusing me of cheating on him which is not true at all. I want to leave him and focus on my studies. Please help me Aunty.
You are a wise girl for 16 to know that you must leave this relationship. On a daily basis, we read about gender-based violence and intimate partners being killed for cheating or, if the man thinks she is cheating. This is not a safe place for you at all. Clearly, your boyfriend is insecure and not very sure of himself. You are now entering your senior and most important years at school so yes, leave him. Break up with him, face to face, but make sure that you are at your home where an elder is around or somewhere where you know you are safe. Good luck child, and best wishes for your new school year.
He wants to marry
Dear Aunty Nangy, I am 19 and my boyfriend says he loves me very much and wants to marry me one day. Please Aunty, give me a little bit of advice?
This type of letter makes me very happy. I take it your relationship is healthy and sound and if you love him, then what is the problem? However, you are too young to marry now and both of you should finish your education and also try and qualify for something else after school. Make sure both of you are working also. Do not marry now or even in the next five years and please wait to have children? You are both young so you must enjoy your young love and build a life first before you have babies.
I want to have sex again
Dear Aunty Nangy, I am a boy of 17 and when I have sex I feel like I want to have sex again. What is the problem Aunty, please help me?
Firstly, you should not be having sex at such a tender age. You do not say if you are in a relationship or not and further, I am worried that you are not having safe sex, using a condom. In terms of feeling like sex again, you do not give me enough details to work with. It could be that you are not ejaculating properly or that you are very virile. After sex, most men are what you would call ‘spent’ and this indicates to me that you are not finishing up properly. You can try self-stimulation and see if that makes you feel more ‘spent’ otherwise, you should see a doctor.
He beats me
Dear Aunty Nangy, I really need your help. I am 26 and a mother of two children. My husband beats me. He beats me when the food is burned or when I get home late from work. He beats me if the children are naughty and he beats me if he thinks I am dressed like a prostitute. Also, if I do not want sex, he beats me. What must I do?
My dear, dear woman, you need to immediately get to a place of safety and take your children, whom I assume are still small, with you. Domestic violence is against the law and you should go and make a case at your nearest police station. I implore you to leave him. Your children cannot be raised safely in such a home and what lessons are they learning from their father? You do not say whether you have sons or daughters but if they are raised with this type of behaviour, they will think it is normal. Go to your nearest police station and find help. You can also get a restraining order if need be. I will pray for you.
Scared for my results
Dear Aunty Nangy, I think I failed Grade 10 and my parents will beat me if I did. I do not know what to do. Help me please.
When in life we meet challenges or make mistakes, the best thing to do is to learn from them and overcome them by doing better. Do not be disheartened child. 2017 is a new year and it will bring with it new opportunities. You can enrol at Namcol at repeat your year. Do not give up. Persevere. Not everyone in life that is successful passed every grade at school. Look at Sir Richard Branson – he is a multi-millionaire and he did not even finish school. Repeat your Grade 10 child, study hard and learn from the mistakes you made this year. Tell your parents you are sorry. Pick yourself up and go on. Good luck!
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