Breaking under pressure: When Namibia's boys become men

The boy child in Namibia is buckling under pressures he was never prepared for – growing into manhood carrying emotional burdens, financial expectations, and a culture of silence that is crushing him.

He is taught to be strong. Never to cry. And always to provide for others.

But, as the cost of living rises, debts mount, jobs disappear, all while emotional support networks remains scarce. Many of these boys-turned-men are cracking under the weight. Some are taking their own lives.

What was once a quiet emergency has become a wave of suicides among young professionals – men in their twenties and thirties. Many with degrees. Careers. Families.

Many of these young men battle depression, frustration and a deep sense of hopelessness, hidden behind confident smiles and filtered photos.

The suicide rate is disturbingly high. It tells the story of a system failing to protect the emotional and mental well-being of half its population.

A childhood without tools

The boy child grows up with rules but no tools. From an early age, he is told to “man up.” Emotion is a weakness. Vulnerability is shameful. Conversations about sadness or fear are often dismissed or ridiculed.

Many are raised in fatherless homes, in communities that do not nurture male emotional development. Teachers are overburdened. Mentors are scarce. Alcohol, silence and survival become the coping tools of choice.

By the time the boy becomes a man, he has learned to internalise his pain, not express it. But buried pain doesn’t vanish – it festers, then erupts, often quietly and fatally.

Financial traps and quiet despair

Young men entering the job market do so with heavy expectations. Black tax. Loans. Rent. Girlfriends. Weddings. Funerals. The car needs to reflect success, and there is pressure to support younger siblings or sick parents. A graduate may already owe the bank tens of thousands of dollars. Entry-level salaries barely cover basic needs.

Financial literacy training is absent. Credit is easy to access, hard to repay. Garnishments come quickly. Depression follows. Without mental health support, many men suffer in silence, feeling they have failed their families, their ancestors, and their manhood.

The cost of silence

This is no longer about “boys’ issues” or personal failure. Namibia is losing its sons and losing its future husbands, fathers, teachers, engineers and leaders. The pain is real, the silence is loud, and the cost is lives.

If we continue to raise boys without preparing them for the emotional storms of adulthood, we will continue to bury young men who had so much more to live for.

It is time to speak. It is time to heal before more boys grow up only to disappear.

From one who had it all and lost it all

Michael Amushelelo, once known for his fleet of luxury cars and a mansion on a hill, offers a sober reflection on the financial traps that many young professionals fall into.

Despite currently facing fraud charges and having lost much of his wealth, Amushelelo has continued to speak openly about the silent crisis of consumer debt and misplaced priorities among Namibia’s youth.

He argues that many young people, upon getting their first job, are driven by insecurity and peer pressure into a cycle of “useless debt.”

“The common mistake we all make when we start working is that we accumulate so much useless debt,” Amushelelo warns.

Five common mistakes

Amushelelo lists five common mistakes. Clothing debt: Buying clothes on credit to boost self-esteem and show off newfound employment.

Rent debt: Moving out impulsively for independence, without planning or saving for basic needs.

Furniture debt: Taking on more credit to furnish a new home with essentials like beds and fridges.

Lifestyle debt: Funding social appearances through overdrafts and cash loans to keep up with trends. Phone debt: Taking out contracts for luxury phones to maintain a certain image.

Amushelelo says this growing debt not only prevents savings but also traps many in jobs they hate.

“That’s why most of them suffer in silence from mistreatment at work. They eat a lot of shit because they don’t want to lose their jobs.”

He warns that such individuals are unlikely to challenge injustice or protest poor conditions, because they are financially tied to a system built on materialism.

When retrenched or stripped of the status symbols they rely on for identity, some spiral into depression – or even suicide.

“Their courage is built on materialism,” he says. “If they’re stripped naked, they don’t feel human anymore.”

Amushelelo’s message is both personal and political: a call for financial literacy, self-awareness and emotional independence, especially for young Namibian men who are struggling quietly amid the pressure to impress.

The mindset

But the biggest hurdle, he says, is changing one’s mindset. “You must be prepared to be mocked and ridiculed,” he advises, “because escaping the system isn’t popular.”

He stresses the need to understand the difference between assets and liabilities, referencing Robert Kiyosaki’s principle that assets put money into your pocket while liabilities take it out.

A car that requires expensive maintenance is a liability. A house with a mortgage is not truly yours until it’s paid off.

Namibia’s real financial crisis, he argues, is that expenses routinely exceed income.

Many people survive on overdrafts or cash loans to bridge the monthly gap, leaving them vulnerable when retrenchment or job loss strikes. This resulting shame and financial collapse often lead people to suicide.

Amushelelo ends with a call for humility and resilience: “There’s no shame in starting over. Downgrade your lifestyle if you must – what matters is regaining financial stability.”