And just like that... CRAN kicks the boy child in the nuts

Namibian men are crying again – and not because the Brave Warriors fumbled their World Cup dreams in Trump’s America, but because CRAN, our very own communications regulator, just dropped a hard kick in their nuts to all but eject them from the job market.“Sorry broer, this ICT gig is for the ladies. You? Go dance to Tate Buti songs in Eveline Street shebeens.”For years, men thought “the future is female” was just some dry feminist slogan. Now? The future has arrived. And it came wearing a Sangita wig and high heels.In its latest vacancy advert, CRAN spelled it out clearly: “Men, voetsek!”Even if you’ve got seven diplomas from the erstwhile Polytechnic of Namibia, can fix your auntie’s Wi-Fi blindfolded, and once hacked DStv for the whole location... if you’re male, sorry chief, back to the cattle post.CRAN says it’s all about “inspiring women in STEM.” Translation? Men can stick to “M” only: mechanics, mining, and maybe milking goats on Cedric Willemse’s many farms. ICT? F**k off!One imaginary CRAN official, sipping Oros with a pink straw, allegedly said: “Men had their chance. They invented Bluetooth, and what did they use it for? Sending unsolicited 2AM nudes. Time to let women handle the router.”Shame. Boy child, you are finished. Klaar.Now the nation is debating: what next? One Katutura uncle warned: “At this rate, boys will only qualify as ushers at baby showers or professional drum-beaters at gender reveal parties.”On WhatsApp, chaos. The panic is real. Some men are rehearsing new hustles like “professional cooldrink opener”, “Yango delivery by donkey cart” and “official braai smoke director”. Others are updating their CVs: 2015–2020: Car guard, Wernhil; 2021–present: Bouncer at shebeens; Future: Full-time gender reveal DJ.And if CRAN doesn’t U-turn? Brace yourself for the next vacancy ad: “Logistics manager wanted. Must own a handbag, wear a weave, and know at least three Beyoncé lyrics. Men, check classifieds – there’s a donkey for sale in Grootfontein.”Or, as one fierce woman jobseeker told us in perfect Namibian slang: “Julle het lank geëet. Now sit down and dish up for me.”

And just like that... CRAN kicks the boy child in the nuts

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Namibian Sun 2025-09-23

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And just like that... CRAN kicks the boy child in the nuts

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Namibian Sun 2025-09-23

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