A glimpse into Nthengwe’s ‘Chronicles’

The name Ndiilokelwa Nthengwe is one you’ve no doubt heard before. The activist has been a prominent part of social justice campaigns like #ShutItAllDown and the Namibian pro-choice movement, and has also penned quite a few opinion pieces for local newspapers.From the bit I’ve seen of them, I knew Nthengwe is a powerhouse, and I expected their memoir – ‘The Chronicles of a Non-Binary Black Lesbian Namibian... In Love’ – to be heavy on the activism and the academic language that goes along with it.Admittedly, that language is a big part of why I shied away from reading the book for so long, and I wasn’t wrong.Parts of the memoir, which was published last year, are so heavy with social justice lingo that it slowed my reading down to snail&#039;s pace, while other parts soar and sing with vulnerability and a real talent for storytelling.It is in those latter parts that we get a glimpse into Nthengwe’s upbringing and some of the experiences that shaped them.The activist-turned-author navigates being raised in a Christian household by a mother who disapproved of them playing with boys, finding their place in a world that demanded they ‘act like a girl’ and dealing with racism at a predominantly white Afrikaans school, all while coming to terms with both their sexuality and identity.Wonderful intimacyA quick read at only 92 pages, ‘Chronicles’ has 10 chapters, each boasting a cover photo, and the book also includes several other photos – from the author’s childhood and from more recent times – which lent it a wonderful intimacy, but also made it a little thin on content.But still, the reader gets a good idea of their journey until now, and reading about a black, queer Namibian - who is so vocal and stands so firm in who they are and what they believe in - will never not be refreshing.The fact that this book exists - as bold and unashamed as it does - is a win, both for Namibian literature and for the author, and any other critique is merely to make what they do next better.The foreword by gender and human rights activist Deyoncé !Naris is beautifully written, and its inclusion is one of my favourite things about this memoir – an ode to the activists who came before, and who continue to fight alongside the ‘new generation’.At arm’s length‘Chronicles’ shines a grim spotlight on how much death Nthengwe has seen in their short life – their step-father, their mother, their best friend, their cousin Shannon Wasserfall (whose murder sparked the #ShutItAllDown protests across the country) - and the narration of these moments gives the reader an intimate glimpse into who they are and what they’ve been through.But the fact that the author psychoanalyses their past instead of simply sharing it loses some of the memoir’s vulnerability, and much of it felt like being told someone&#039;s secrets while being kept at arm’s length.I appreciate that they have grown and learnt and changed since, and can now offer insight that perhaps they couldn’t before, but I also want to experience their world through their own eyes - without the lens of hindsight being 20/20.While Nthengwe has proved themself adept at academic writing, when it comes to sharing on more personal topics, I don&#039;t think they’ve quite found their style just yet.In the epilogue, they write: “I am not entirely sure I understood my own assignment for this book”, and that becomes clear the further you get into it.There’s a vague thread that pulls it all together - that these moments all happened to the same person - but I wish the author delved deeper into each topic and allowed the reader to truly get to know them.Ultimately, I wanted more. More of Nthengwe, more than the glimpses offered, more than a highlight and lowlight reel.GremlinsDisappointingly, there are many gremlins that slipped through the editing process, and that and the academic language is what let the book down most. The memoir, this story, deserved more care, more attention, more vulnerability – both from the author and from the editor.With how often terms that will be very clear to Namibians are explained in parentheses, it just doesn’t feel like this is a book written for us. Instead, it feels like a story written to appeal to a foreign audience that may or may not exist.More could have been done to make this a book not only for activists and academics, but for everyone, and that will be Nthengwe’s challenge for their next project.RATING: 3/5Cindy van Wyk is an eternal bookworm who shares reviews and other bookish content @lovereadingxo on Instagram.- cindy@namibiansun.com

A glimpse into Nthengwe’s ‘Chronicles’

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Namibian Sun 2022-08-18

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A glimpse into Nthengwe’s ‘Chronicles’

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Namibian Sun 2022-08-18

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