Yes, I am upset!

19 November 2019 | Columns

Ester Kamati

“Why are black women so angry?” some may ask, as if we don’t have the right to be.

I am still amused by the fact that Namibian males expects us to just be really comfortable around them, and typically go about our business.

When tragedies and killing sprees happen in Namibia, we have a tendency of sitting back and waiting for it to ‘blow over’.

News shakes the world for just a few days and sadly, thereafter, people are expected to just be okay and ‘get over it’, which should not be the case.

It leaves a lifetime of scars and holes in the way we co-exist, but also in the way we trust.

The killing of a woman I have never met has a greater impact than people would expect.

Just because we have never encountered the person does not mean that we are at ease with somebody just deciding to blow out her candle, because they feel like they have the ‘authority’ to do so.

I think it is high time that men are reminded or told for the first time that they do not have the ‘authority’ to decide when somebody gets to take their last breath. You do not have the right to decide or dictate what a person’s dress code implies. And most importantly, it is not your place to put a price on somebody’s daughter.

I refuse to simply let these outrageous acts go unchallenged, and lastly, I refuse to be one that keeps quiet and watches my sisters lose their freedom to perpetrators they once called babe, friend, uncle etc. Yes, I am upset! I hate the fact that everybody expects us to be okay with seeing headlines of how another women died at the hands of someone who is supposed to protect her. And people in this day and age will want to call us dramatic for not wanting to get into a cab where there are three men. I can’t get over how my short skirt is blamed for the inappropriate mannerisms of males, and I am unable to understand how my long legs and my shorts are silently “asking for it”, and how this drowns out screaming “no” several times.

I’d rather be dramatic than let another female feel alone in a country where women exceed the male population, or at least the last time I checked. Before we even get to the entitlement of a man who gets into a relationship to control somebody’s daughter, the fact that a man can lay their hands on the woman who gave them life, and ultimately take away their last breath, is beyond sad. It is never a mother’s intention to raise a man who doesn’t know how to treat a woman and it kills you inside to see that a person you once carried in your womb is the same person that robs somebody of their life, their freedom and their future.

I don’t think we realise the magnitude of these issues and it’s about time we shift the blame from women for ‘provoking’ men and analyse that a crime was committed and somebody was violated.

At this point, let us not even shift the focus from the fact that this is a human - a living, breathing and thinking being, just like the perpetrator. A human, not just a woman, because when you say woman, there is a level of inferiority attached; somehow they are not seen as somebody’s daughter, sister, aunt and mother.

Yes, they are human beings in their own right, who exist independently of their counterparts. Maybe when we realise this, we will then realise the value that each individual has.

Lastly, let’s talk about masculinity. This is not something that needs to be proven through enforcing your strength on other people. Nobody ever asked men to prove their ‘manliness’, and much less not through treating women like they don’t matter.

That said, let us stop making women feel unsafe by cat-calling them, among other acts, and let us grasp that women don’t owe you their numbers; they are not compelled to talk to you and they don’t owe you anything.

On that note, for those who always want to defend and go against what is being discussed, this is not the platform for backlash. The discussion about men and their insecurities, or whatever other excuses we are making for them, is not up for debate in this column.

[email protected]

Similar News


Redefine coming through

1 day - 11 August 2020 | Columns

Enzo AmueleThe residents of the Twaloloka informal settlement in Walvis Bay, which in Oshiwambo means “we are tired”, recently experienced one of the most devastating...

Germany should fund Namibia's land restitution

5 days ago - 07 August 2020 | Columns

Henning Melber Nearly 30 years after starting land reform, Namibia's distribution of land ownership is still skewed. This is a colonial legacy. It is high...

Being comfortably uncomfortable

1 week ago - 04 August 2020 | Columns

Elizabeth JosephInasmuch as this year has probably been the most draining and challenging, it has definitely made several people, including myself, think of life in...

The plethora of political economy in Africa during Covid-19

1 week ago - 31 July 2020 | Columns

TUIKILA KAIYAMO A global pandemic such as the coronavirus has indicated that globalisation can change in an instant, with various factors deciding how nations could...

Change is the only constant

2 weeks ago - 28 July 2020 | Columns

Ester Kamati When making a big decision, along with being scared, doubts start to form about whether it is even worth it, if it will...

Protecting reproductive health and rights

4 weeks ago - 15 July 2020 | Columns

Florence /KhaxasNamibia was built on the labour of black women whose bodies are often subjected to criminalisation and violence. Why do women die? That is...

Broken NYC needs fixing

4 weeks ago - 15 July 2020 | Columns

MARTIN-OLEMBE ANTINDI The National Youth Council (NYC), an inclusive and non-political national youth organisation under the ministry of youth, sport and national service, is...

No cap

4 weeks ago - 14 July 2020 | Columns

Justicia Shipena Social media is great for many things, like sharing photos of your vacation, slick eyeliner or outfit. Activism, however, is not one...

Ecopreneurship a viable way to stimulate the economy

1 month - 26 June 2020 | Columns

Desmond KheibebIn the last few years it seems as we have created an unstoppable chain of events which has led to the issue of climate...

Staying safe and secure whilst being ­productive

2 months ago - 29 May 2020 | Columns

Jan Coetzee Namibia may seem remote and often disconnected from the world, but things came starkly into focus. We are part of the global village...

Latest News

Samcee brings ‘Divine Comfort’

8 hours ago | Art and Entertainment

Swakopmund • [email protected] and gospel musician Samson ‘Samcee’ Chivi (21) recently released his third album, Divine Comfort.Born in Kwekwe, Zimbabwe, Samcee came to Namibia with...

Nam haemorrhaging jobs

20 hours ago | Economics

Jo-Maré Duddy – The impact of Covid-19 and the ongoing recession claimed 5 748 jobs in the three months to the end of June.This is...

Man charged with girlfriend's panga...

20 hours ago | Crime

TUYEIMO HAIDULAOSHAKATIA 36-year-old woman died after she was hacked with a panga at her mother's homestead at Ouhwaala village in the Omusati Region on Sunday.Her...

Covid hits Cabinet, Swapo

20 hours ago | Government

OGONE TLHAGEWINDHOEKYesterday's routine cabinet meeting was held virtually after a senior official in that arm of government allegedly tested for Covid-19, while the ruling party...

Fishrot whistleblower rubbishes Samherji's loss-making...

20 hours ago | Crime

OGONE TLHAGEWINDHOEKWhistleblower Johannes Stefansson, who formerly headed Icelandic seafood giant Samherji’s Namibian business interests, has cast doubt on claims by his former employer that its...

Land surveying starts at Okahandja

20 hours ago | Economics

The ministry of urban and rural development has started the land surveying process at Ekunde Extension 5 in Okahandja in efforts to speed up land...

Africa Briefs

20 hours ago | Economics

Egyptians vote for newly created senatePolls opened in Egypt yesterday for a two-day election to choose members of a newly created second chamber of parliament,...

Pads restore dignity at Ncamagoro

20 hours ago | Social Issues

KENYA KAMBOWENCAMAGOROAbout 40 women and girls at Ncamagoro village in Kavango West received free sanitary pads on Monday, donated by anonymous benefactors from the Namibia...

Youth at the periphery of...

20 hours ago | Opinion

With this year's regional and local authority elections a mere two months away, young people are again being elbowed to the edge.In political parties, strategies...

Load More