The future of technology
Dear friends, we are just emerging from the season of giving – Christmas - the time of the year that we all go crazy and forget how much we really earn by going on crazy shopping sprees.
Ja, come January we blame anyone but ourselves for the mess we find ourselves in.
I have seen people buying all sorts of gadgets and accessories that are hard to imagine if they are really needed by them.
A friend of mine recently went on a mission to showcase his newly acquired tablet - apparently it is so advanced it can record a voice and turn it into written words. That was amazing, I figured - although I am still having trouble with my BlackBerry voice dial function.
Ja, for some reason it cannot recognise the name “Tjipenandjambi Nguasananongombe”. I even try voice-dialling his village of origin - which is Otjimanangombe - but to no avail. According to my beloved BlackBerry, that name does not exist. All it keeps saying is “Did you want to call Tsunami Ngugi?”
So pardon me if I am not really one for gadgets. In fact, I think the world would have been so much better without all these technological devices. I mean, has anyone ever imagined how life would be a few years from now? We are living in the age of the machines where a person's every step is monitored - how would that affect the future?
Let's say a dude from the hood decides to play 'man of the 90s' and call in at the nearest pizza place to order some for his extended family…?
Operator: “Thank you for calling Pizza Home . May I have your…”
Customer: “Heloo, can I order…”
Operator: “Can I have your ID number first, ir?”
Customer: “It's eh…, hold……….. on…… 581204 10645?
Operator: “OK… you're… Mr Kavari and you're calling from 17 Alexander Bell street.
Your home number is 4094 2366, your office 061-9009778 and your mobile is 081114455. Which number are you calling from now Sir?”
Customer: “Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?
Operator: “We are connected to the system Sir.”
Customer: “May I order your Carnivore Pizza…”
Operator: “That's not a good idea Sir.”
Customer: “How come?”
Operator: “According to your medical records, you have high blood pressure and even higher cholesterol level Sir.”
Customer: “What? … What do you recommend then?”
Operator: “Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza. You'll like it.”
Customer: “How do you know for sure?”
Operator: “You borrowed a book entitled “Popular Hokkien Dishes” from the National Library last week Sir.”
Customer: “OK I give up… Give me three family size ones then, how much will that cost?”
Operator: “That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir. The total is N$249.99.?
Customer: “Can I pay by credit card?”
Operator: “I'm afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is over the limit and you owe your bank N$3 720.55 since October last year. That's not including the late payment charges on your housing loan, Sir.”
Customer: “I guess I have to run to the nearest ATM and withdraw some cash before your guy arrives.”
Operator: “You can't Sir. Based on the records, you've reached your daily limit on machine withdrawal today.”
Customer: “Never mind just send the pizzas, I'll have the cash ready. How long is it gonna take anyway?”
Operator: “About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can't wait you can always come and collect it on your motorcycle…”
Customer: “What!”
Operator: “According to the details in system, you own a scooter… registration number N1123G0…”
Customer: “????”
Operator: “Is there anything else Sir?”
Customer: “Nothing… by the way… aren't you giving me the three free bottles of Coke as advertised?”
Operator: “We normally would Sir, but based on your records you're also diabetic…”
Customer: ##$%****!!!!%##$$****$$%%
Operator: “Better watch your language Sir. Remember on 15th July 1987 you were convicted of using abusive language on a policeman…?”
Eish, times are definitely changing, so it is probably best to keep one's record clean. I for one wouldn't want to be denied access to a public bathroom simply because I forgot to tip the cleaner some 20 000 light years ago!
Until then…
[email protected]
Ja, come January we blame anyone but ourselves for the mess we find ourselves in.
I have seen people buying all sorts of gadgets and accessories that are hard to imagine if they are really needed by them.
A friend of mine recently went on a mission to showcase his newly acquired tablet - apparently it is so advanced it can record a voice and turn it into written words. That was amazing, I figured - although I am still having trouble with my BlackBerry voice dial function.
Ja, for some reason it cannot recognise the name “Tjipenandjambi Nguasananongombe”. I even try voice-dialling his village of origin - which is Otjimanangombe - but to no avail. According to my beloved BlackBerry, that name does not exist. All it keeps saying is “Did you want to call Tsunami Ngugi?”
So pardon me if I am not really one for gadgets. In fact, I think the world would have been so much better without all these technological devices. I mean, has anyone ever imagined how life would be a few years from now? We are living in the age of the machines where a person's every step is monitored - how would that affect the future?
Let's say a dude from the hood decides to play 'man of the 90s' and call in at the nearest pizza place to order some for his extended family…?
Operator: “Thank you for calling Pizza Home . May I have your…”
Customer: “Heloo, can I order…”
Operator: “Can I have your ID number first, ir?”
Customer: “It's eh…, hold……….. on…… 581204 10645?
Operator: “OK… you're… Mr Kavari and you're calling from 17 Alexander Bell street.
Your home number is 4094 2366, your office 061-9009778 and your mobile is 081114455. Which number are you calling from now Sir?”
Customer: “Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?
Operator: “We are connected to the system Sir.”
Customer: “May I order your Carnivore Pizza…”
Operator: “That's not a good idea Sir.”
Customer: “How come?”
Operator: “According to your medical records, you have high blood pressure and even higher cholesterol level Sir.”
Customer: “What? … What do you recommend then?”
Operator: “Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza. You'll like it.”
Customer: “How do you know for sure?”
Operator: “You borrowed a book entitled “Popular Hokkien Dishes” from the National Library last week Sir.”
Customer: “OK I give up… Give me three family size ones then, how much will that cost?”
Operator: “That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir. The total is N$249.99.?
Customer: “Can I pay by credit card?”
Operator: “I'm afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is over the limit and you owe your bank N$3 720.55 since October last year. That's not including the late payment charges on your housing loan, Sir.”
Customer: “I guess I have to run to the nearest ATM and withdraw some cash before your guy arrives.”
Operator: “You can't Sir. Based on the records, you've reached your daily limit on machine withdrawal today.”
Customer: “Never mind just send the pizzas, I'll have the cash ready. How long is it gonna take anyway?”
Operator: “About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can't wait you can always come and collect it on your motorcycle…”
Customer: “What!”
Operator: “According to the details in system, you own a scooter… registration number N1123G0…”
Customer: “????”
Operator: “Is there anything else Sir?”
Customer: “Nothing… by the way… aren't you giving me the three free bottles of Coke as advertised?”
Operator: “We normally would Sir, but based on your records you're also diabetic…”
Customer: ##$%****!!!!%##$$****$$%%
Operator: “Better watch your language Sir. Remember on 15th July 1987 you were convicted of using abusive language on a policeman…?”
Eish, times are definitely changing, so it is probably best to keep one's record clean. I for one wouldn't want to be denied access to a public bathroom simply because I forgot to tip the cleaner some 20 000 light years ago!
Until then…
[email protected]
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