Single life is a journey

18 August 2020 | Columns

Monique Adams

We live in a century where relationships are glamorised; especially on Instagram, Twitter and those Snapchat videos, the marketing for relationships is on point. I most definitely cannot relate. Just recently I got a notification on my phone from Netflix, a new movie is out, ‘Seriously Single’. To be honest, I really enjoyed it.

I was never the friend that was in and out of relationships; rather I’m that friend that gives relationship advice and being that friend is annoying because the person you give advice to never takes the advice, hey! “You live and you learn,” they say. Men always ask me, “Why are you single though? You’re too beautiful to be single.” I get so annoyed when asked that question because nine times out of ten I don’t know how to answer that.

I recently read a quote that said “The love and attention you think you need from someone else, is the love and attention you first need to give to yourself,” and that just stuck with me throughout the whole day. Don’t get me wrong, I love love and I am a hopeless romantic, but I strongly believe that you should first fall in love with yourself before looking for a partner. Self-love is a real thing and its super important, especially for us females. It’s not an easy journey but trust the process, it’s all worth it.

Women are really doing the most breaking through the glass ceilings. Some of my favourite ladies right now are Tracee Ellis Ross, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, Issa Rae and Bonang Matheba, to name just a few. They have really inspired me through their work that being a female you can do anything you set your mind to and the world is your oyster, thrive in it and take up space. Gone are the days where you have to depend on a man to do something for you and I am here for it. So, I’m proud to say that now I am on that self-love journey and so far, it has been rewarding.

It’s okay to be single. Don’t ever feel pressured because of friends or what you see on social media. Place your focus on things that will help you grow, start a new hobby, finish school/studies and get that driver’s licence. Just invest in yourself. These Windhoek streets are cold, people get dribbled out here.

Don’t misjudge me, I am not against love, all I’m saying is don’t go out there looking for love or else you’ll find someone that has wrong intentions, so keep on doing you and it will find you.

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