Self-care wrapped in a bow
Self-care wrapped in a bow

Self-care wrapped in a bow

JUSTISIA SHIPENA
Justicia Shipena



I thought shooting stars were a myth. They may be astronomically proven, and relentlessly depicted in popular culture, but one had never streaked across my eye. This scepticism held true until I was laying on the grass at midnight in the middle of last week.

I was awarded the coveted magic of two shooting stars. I do not know whether my wishes counted - it took a second for my shock to wear off to formulate the hopes I wanted to send out into the universe.

I realised shooting stars are real. I had just never taken the time to stop, look and wait for them to find me.

I’m so used to writing about what I love about others; maybe it is the Gemini in me, but fierce loyalty is etched into my personhood. In short, the people who are in my heart are protected by unwavering friendship and hands to always lift them up. I am so used to showing up for people and things, for work, school, coffee and comfort, compilations of colourful scheduled blocks within my calendar. Funnelling my energy into obligations towards others is easy. Showing up for myself is not.

I have spent most of my time thinking that if I were not working so hard to the point where I could fall asleep doing a certain thing, then I was not working hard enough. If an opportunity presented itself to me, I would take it, regardless of my limited bandwidth. Part of why I have worked this way is because I am me. I was determined to say ‘yes’ to as many things as I could because I never wanted to miss out on the opportunities presented to me. However, everything comes with stress, pressure and sometimes warped views on what it means to be successful.

I have come to realise that never wanting to miss out made me miss out on a lot of life. It took me a while to find the time to stare at the sky until I saw shooting stars. Maybe I had not seen one before not because they are in any way extremely rare or unreal, but because I had only been glancing and I had never been watching.

Another reason for my constant stream of ‘yes’ is that my career was shorter than most. I am a sophomore, thus I felt like I was catching up and that I had to make up for the lost time. Admittedly, the transition was not supposed to be an easy one, pulling my roots from the comfortable to the uncomfortable. Loneliness hung heavy over me as I attempted to navigate new surroundings and social structures.

There is no sugar-coating it under poetic language - it really, really sucked. There was no magical shift in this story; there was no one moment that changed the lens through which I saw things. There was no wand waved over my head bringing contentment as it drained the anxiety from my body.

I was walking up a hill, legs burning, trying to keep the momentum going because I knew if I stopped, I might not start again. There was no time to watch the stars.

There is always going to be something else, something bigger, better, more prestigious, more impressive, more… something. I was so tired from my trek up the hill that I had little time or mental capacity to think about how I wanted to be living. I realised that living anxiously in the moment is not living. I stopped letting unnecessary guilt slip into the joyous moments spent with people I care about. I did not let it disrupt the peaceful scenes spent with myself and a palette of glitter watercolours. I chose fun and I chose to show up for myself.

Again, this shift is not a conclusive change wrapped up in a bow, but rather a daily act of self-care that goes beyond Netflix and reading - though I enjoy both of those things very much.

I learnt that self-care is not always simple and fun. Pursuing it can be tough because sometimes it is easier not to think about how your mindset needs to shift. It costs a substantial amount of energy and emotional capacity, but it pays off with further clarity. I am still walking up the hill, but I think I am beginning to enjoy the view.

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Namibian Sun 2024-03-29

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Katima Mulilo: 19° | 36° Rundu: 19° | 29° Eenhana: 19° | 29° Oshakati: 21° | 30° Ruacana: 20° | 33° Tsumeb: 19° | 29° Otjiwarongo: 16° | 29° Omaruru: 19° | 32° Windhoek: 17° | 29° Gobabis: 17° | 30° Henties Bay: 16° | 20° Wind speed: 22km/h, Wind direction: S, Low tide: 11:22, High tide: 05:24, Low Tide: 23:26, High tide: 17:46 Swakopmund: 16° | 17° Wind speed: 24km/h, Wind direction: SW, Low tide: 11:20, High tide: 05:22, Low Tide: 23:24, High tide: 17:44 Walvis Bay: 16° | 22° Wind speed: 27km/h, Wind direction: SW, Low tide: 11:20, High tide: 05:21, Low Tide: 23:24, High tide: 17:43 Rehoboth: 19° | 30° Mariental: 23° | 34° Keetmanshoop: 24° | 35° Aranos: 22° | 33° Lüderitz: 15° | 28° Ariamsvlei: 24° | 35° Oranjemund: 14° | 25° Luanda: 27° | 28° Gaborone: 20° | 32° Lubumbashi: 17° | 26° Mbabane: 16° | 21° Maseru: 11° | 29° Antananarivo: 16° | 27° Lilongwe: 17° | 27° Maputo: 20° | 28° Windhoek: 17° | 29° Cape Town: 17° | 28° Durban: 20° | 24° Johannesburg: 16° | 24° Dar es Salaam: 26° | 32° Lusaka: 20° | 30° Harare: 16° | 29° Currency: GBP to NAD 23.79 | EUR to NAD 20.36 | CNY to NAD 2.62 | USD to NAD 18.89 | DZD to NAD 0.14 | AOA to NAD 0.02 | BWP to NAD 1.33 | EGP to NAD 0.39 | KES to NAD 0.14 | NGN to NAD 0.01 | ZMW to NAD 0.74 | ZWL to NAD 0.04 | BRL to NAD 3.77 | RUB to NAD 0.2 | INR to NAD 0.23 | USD to DZD 134.14 | USD to AOA 832.63 | USD to BWP 13.71 | USD to EGP 47.35 | USD to KES 130.98 | USD to NGN 1415.13 | USD to ZAR 18.89 | USD to ZMW 25.01 | USD to ZWL 321 | Stock Exchange: JSE All Share Index 74536 Up +0.85% | Namibian Stock Exchange (NSX) Overall Index 1528.69 Up +0.84% | Casablanca Stock Exchange (CSE) MASI 12986.94 Up +0.04% | Egyptian Exchange (EGX) 30 Index 27559.35 Down -2.36% | Botswana Stock Exchange (BSE) DCI Same 0 | NSX: MTC 7.75 SAME | Anirep 8.99 SAME | Capricorn Investment group 17.34 SAME | FirstRand Namibia Ltd 49 DOWN 0.50% | Letshego Holdings (Namibia) Ltd 4.1 UP 2.50% | Namibia Asset Management Ltd 0.7 SAME | Namibia Breweries Ltd 31.49 UP 0.03% | Nictus Holdings - Nam 2.22 SAME | Oryx Properties Ltd 12.1 UP 1.70% | Paratus Namibia Holdings 11.99 SAME | SBN Holdings 8.45 SAME | Trustco Group Holdings Ltd 0.48 SAME | B2Gold Corporation 47.34 DOWN 1.50% | Local Index closed 677.62 UP 0.12% | Overall Index closed 1534.6 DOWN 0.05% | Osino Resources Corp 19.47 DOWN 2.41% | Commodities: Gold US$ 2 233.12/OZ UP +1.93% | Copper US$ 3.99/lb UP +0.12% | Zinc US$ 2 455.50/T UP 0% | Brent Crude Oil US$ 87.65/BBP UP +1.46% | Platinum US$ 908.62/OZ UP +1.53% Sport results: Weather: Katima Mulilo: 19° | 36° Rundu: 19° | 29° Eenhana: 19° | 29° Oshakati: 21° | 30° Ruacana: 20° | 33° Tsumeb: 19° | 29° Otjiwarongo: 16° | 29° Omaruru: 19° | 32° Windhoek: 17° | 29° Gobabis: 17° | 30° Henties Bay: 16° | 20° Wind speed: 22km/h, Wind direction: S, Low tide: 11:22, High tide: 05:24, Low Tide: 23:26, High tide: 17:46 Swakopmund: 16° | 17° Wind speed: 24km/h, Wind direction: SW, Low tide: 11:20, High tide: 05:22, Low Tide: 23:24, High tide: 17:44 Walvis Bay: 16° | 22° Wind speed: 27km/h, Wind direction: SW, Low tide: 11:20, High tide: 05:21, Low Tide: 23:24, High tide: 17:43 Rehoboth: 19° | 30° Mariental: 23° | 34° Keetmanshoop: 24° | 35° Aranos: 22° | 33° Lüderitz: 15° | 28° Ariamsvlei: 24° | 35° Oranjemund: 14° | 25° Luanda: 27° | 28° Gaborone: 20° | 32° Lubumbashi: 17° | 26° Mbabane: 16° | 21° Maseru: 11° | 29° Antananarivo: 16° | 27° Lilongwe: 17° | 27° Maputo: 20° | 28° Windhoek: 17° | 29° Cape Town: 17° | 28° Durban: 20° | 24° Johannesburg: 16° | 24° Dar es Salaam: 26° | 32° Lusaka: 20° | 30° Harare: 16° | 29° Economic Indicators: Currency: GBP to NAD 23.79 | EUR to NAD 20.36 | CNY to NAD 2.62 | USD to NAD 18.89 | DZD to NAD 0.14 | AOA to NAD 0.02 | BWP to NAD 1.33 | EGP to NAD 0.39 | KES to NAD 0.14 | NGN to NAD 0.01 | ZMW to NAD 0.74 | ZWL to NAD 0.04 | BRL to NAD 3.77 | RUB to NAD 0.2 | INR to NAD 0.23 | USD to DZD 134.14 | USD to AOA 832.63 | USD to BWP 13.71 | USD to EGP 47.35 | USD to KES 130.98 | USD to NGN 1415.13 | USD to ZAR 18.89 | USD to ZMW 25.01 | USD to ZWL 321 | Stock Exchange: JSE All Share Index 74536 Up +0.85% | Namibian Stock Exchange (NSX) Overall Index 1528.69 Up +0.84% | Casablanca Stock Exchange (CSE) MASI 12986.94 Up +0.04% | Egyptian Exchange (EGX) 30 Index 27559.35 Down -2.36% | Botswana Stock Exchange (BSE) DCI Same 0 | NSX: MTC 7.75 SAME | Anirep 8.99 SAME | Capricorn Investment group 17.34 SAME | FirstRand Namibia Ltd 49 DOWN 0.50% | Letshego Holdings (Namibia) Ltd 4.1 UP 2.50% | Namibia Asset Management Ltd 0.7 SAME | Namibia Breweries Ltd 31.49 UP 0.03% | Nictus Holdings - Nam 2.22 SAME | Oryx Properties Ltd 12.1 UP 1.70% | Paratus Namibia Holdings 11.99 SAME | SBN Holdings 8.45 SAME | Trustco Group Holdings Ltd 0.48 SAME | B2Gold Corporation 47.34 DOWN 1.50% | Local Index closed 677.62 UP 0.12% | Overall Index closed 1534.6 DOWN 0.05% | Osino Resources Corp 19.47 DOWN 2.41% | Commodities: Gold US$ 2 233.12/OZ UP +1.93% | Copper US$ 3.99/lb UP +0.12% | Zinc US$ 2 455.50/T UP 0% | Brent Crude Oil US$ 87.65/BBP UP +1.46% | Platinum US$ 908.62/OZ UP +1.53%