I am a carnivore and loving it!

I never understand the fuss made about losing weight. All of a sudden everyone – including that girl from down the street who in my eyes has the perfect body – wants to lose weight. It must be a fashion statement, because I have never seen a fully grown and well-groomed African woman opting to rather have a slender, meatless body! Ja, thanks to all those models that strut the catwalk in virtually only their birthday suits, well-built African women now think that is what signifies beauty. I don’t know about you gents, but in the Omaheke Region, a well-upholstered African woman beats Miss Universe hands down! That is the beauty of being a carnivore – a meat-eating species. Who said all human beings ought to be omnivorous? If you work in corporate Namibia, the norm is now that you have to be seen quaffing nutritional supplements - peanuts, sunflower seeds or simply Evian water. There is just something about these items that spell ‘educated’, smart and rich whenever you stop every five minutes to take them, or so I am told. Ja, gone are the days that all you needed to get ahead in this world was a good education, politically correct parents and a well-ironed shirt at all times. It has now become an embarrassing sight to be seen ordering a pork chop or beef steak with fried onions and lots of chilli at your local eatery. The kind that would see you licking off the excess gravy from your fingers! Ja, Omaheke’s own finger-lickin’ good products - no offence to Col. Sanders and his recipe - would now be viewed as illiterate and so ‘backwards’. Even if you do not know what the hell it is, just be seen wielding a strange-looking can with a relatively unknown brand and smile when somebody asks what you are drinking. “Just some vitamins, Bro.” Yeah, my brothers from Erongo - the same ones that are always seen with some Johnson & Johnson baby powder in the glove compartment - have now added these vitamins to the list. A typical day for these diet fanatics would start off with two slices of whole-wheat bread. For my ordinary African brothers and sisters, this is that dark brown bread covered in ‘seeds’ - the one that would make you strangle your kid if he mistakenly buys it with your money. The same meal would be complemented with a cup of peanuts and a bottle of water - apparently it is good for your system. During breaks, the same person would be taking some funny capsules the size of an orange or sucking on some tablets, which I am told are vitamin supplements. Then there are those funny organisations that sell you tablets which they claim equal eating at least 20 apples! I am not a health expert, but why in heaven’s name would you be eating 20 apples for? Are you running for a Guinness Book of Records entry? Hell no, one apple is good enough to keep the doctor at bay. Eish, whatever happened to the days that you would just eat pap and meat and sip on tea, and that was it? When the midday heat takes its toll, you would sit down for more pap and tea, and again take the same meal for dinner. I mean, imagine a meat-eating Namibian like yours truly living on such a diet for a month? Yeah, I thought so - it is unimaginable as much as it is impossible! This Herero would die for sure. In Omaheke, my people would always look at their neighbour’s plate before starting on their own - just to make sure he is not left with the shorter end of the stick! Ask any married woman and she will tell you that a man’s plate has to be filled to the brim – a man’s gotta eat, you know! So, next time a person tells you she drinks eight glasses of water a day, asked her how her last slave died. Or you can always recite the story of how the Lion King Mufasa would never allow his subjects to come close to his meal of meat! Until then… [email protected]

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Namibian Sun 2024-03-19

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Six Nations: France 33 vs 31 England | Ireland 17 vs 13 Scotland | Wales 21 vs 24 Italy Premier League: Brighton 0 vs 0 Manchester City | West Ham 1 vs 1 Aston Villa | Everton 0 vs 0 Liverpool | Fulham 3 vs 0 Tottenham Hotspur | Manchester United 0 vs 0 Sheffield United | Luton Town 1 vs 1 Forest | Wolverhampton Wanderers 0 vs 0 Bournemouth | Crystal Palace 0 vs 0 Newcastle | Burnley 2 vs 1 Brentford | Arsenal 0 vs 0 Chelsea LaLiga: Atletico Madrid 0 vs 3 Barcelona | Rayo Vallecano 2 vs 0 Real Betis | Las Palmas 0 vs 1 Almería | Villarreal 1 vs 0 Valencia | Sevilla 1 vs 2 Celta Vigo | Athletic Club 2 vs 0 Deportivo Alaves | Getafe 1 vs 0 Girona | Osasuna 2 vs 4 Real Madrid | Mallorca 1 vs 0 Granada SerieA: Internazionale 1 vs 1 Napoli | AS Roma 1 vs 0 Sassuolo | Atalanta 0 vs 0 Fiorentina | Hellas Verona 1 vs 3 AC Milan | Juventus 0 vs 0 Genoa | Frosinone 2 vs 3 SS Lazio | Salernitana 0 vs 1 Lecce | Monza 1 vs 0 Cagliari | Udinese 0 vs 2 Torino European Championships Qualifying: Leeds United 2 vs 0 Millwall FC | West Bromwich Albion 2 vs 0 Bristol City | Plymouth Argyle 0 vs 1 Preston North End | Rotherham United 0 vs 0 Huddersfield Town | Stoke City 0 vs 3 Norwich City | Middlesbrough 0 vs 0 Blackburn Rovers | Birmingham City 0 vs 1 Watford | Ipswich Town 6 vs 0 Sheffield Wednesday | Sunderland 0 vs 0 Queens Park Rangers | Swansea City 2 vs 0 Cardiff City FA Cup: Manchester United 4 vs 3 Liverpool | Chelsea 4 vs 2 Leicester City | Manchester City 2 vs 0 Newcastle United | Wolverhampton Wanderers 2 vs 3 Coventry City English Championship: Leeds United 2 vs 0 Millwall FC | West Bromwich Albion 2 vs 0 Bristol City | Plymouth Argyle 0 vs 1 Preston North End | Rotherham United 0 vs 0 Huddersfield Town | Stoke City 0 vs 3 Norwich City | Middlesbrough 0 vs 0 Blackburn Rovers | Birmingham City 0 vs 1 Watford | Ipswich Town 6 vs 0 Sheffield Wednesday | Sunderland 0 vs 0 Queens Park Rangers | Swansea City 2 vs 0 Cardiff City Katima Mulilo: 18° | 37° Rundu: 20° | 38° Eenhana: 20° | 36° Oshakati: 23° | 35° Ruacana: 21° | 36° Tsumeb: 21° | 37° Otjiwarongo: 18° | 35° Omaruru: 20° | 37° Windhoek: 19° | 34° Gobabis: 19° | 36° Henties Bay: 19° | 24° Wind speed: 19km/h, Wind direction: SW, Low tide: 06:31, High tide: 12:45, Low Tide: 18:51, High tide: 01:21 Swakopmund: 17° | 19° Wind speed: 16km/h, Wind direction: W, Low tide: 06:29, High tide: 12:43, Low Tide: 18:49, High tide: 01:19 Walvis Bay: 18° | 26° Wind speed: 22km/h, Wind direction: W, Low tide: 06:29, High tide: 12:42, Low Tide: 18:49, High tide: 01:18 Rehoboth: 18° | 35° Mariental: 24° | 37° Keetmanshoop: 22° | 37° Aranos: 24° | 37° Lüderitz: 24° | 36° Ariamsvlei: 27° | 38° Oranjemund: 17° | 29° Luanda: 27° | 29° Gaborone: 23° | 37° Lubumbashi: 16° | 26° Mbabane: 18° | 22° Maseru: 15° | 33° Antananarivo: 16° | 25° Lilongwe: 17° | 27° Maputo: 23° | 27° Windhoek: 19° | 34° Cape Town: 20° | 27° Durban: 22° | 24° Johannesburg: 18° | 32° Dar es Salaam: 24° | 32° Lusaka: 17° | 28° Harare: 15° | 32° Currency: GBP to NAD 24.02 | EUR to NAD 20.57 | CNY to NAD 2.64 | USD to NAD 19 | DZD to NAD 0.14 | AOA to NAD 0.02 | BWP to NAD 1.34 | EGP to NAD 0.39 | KES to NAD 0.14 | NGN to NAD 0.01 | ZMW to NAD 0.73 | ZWL to NAD 0.04 | BRL to NAD 3.76 | RUB to NAD 0.21 | INR to NAD 0.23 | USD to DZD 134.4 | USD to AOA 832.63 | USD to BWP 13.71 | USD to EGP 47.13 | USD to KES 132.48 | USD to NGN 1572.01 | USD to ZAR 19 | USD to ZMW 25.65 | USD to ZWL 321 | Stock Exchange: JSE All Share Index 72430.44 Down -0.77% | Namibian Stock Exchange (NSX) Overall Index 1504.69 Down -0.83% | Casablanca Stock Exchange (CSE) MASI 13085.63 Up +0.17% | Egyptian Exchange (EGX) 30 Index 29091.29 Down -6.34% | Botswana Stock Exchange (BSE) DCI 9055.2 Same 0 | NSX: MTC 7.75 SAME | Anirep 8.99 SAME | Capricorn Investment group 17.34 SAME | FirstRand Namibia Ltd 49 DOWN 0.50% | Letshego Holdings (Namibia) Ltd 4.1 UP 2.50% | Namibia Asset Management Ltd 0.7 SAME | Namibia Breweries Ltd 31.49 UP 0.03% | Nictus Holdings - Nam 2.22 SAME | Oryx Properties Ltd 12.1 UP 1.70% | Paratus Namibia Holdings 11.99 SAME | SBN Holdings 8.45 SAME | Trustco Group Holdings Ltd 0.48 SAME | B2Gold Corporation 47.34 DOWN 1.50% | Local Index closed 677.62 UP 0.12% | Overall Index closed 1534.6 DOWN 0.05% | Osino Resources Corp 19.47 DOWN 2.41% | Commodities: Gold US$ 2 154.06/OZ DOWN -0.0038 | Copper US$ 4.07/lb DOWN -0.0092 | Zinc US$ 2 501.60/T DOWN -1.49% | Brent Crude Oil US$ 86.81/BBP DOWN -0.0028 | Platinum US$ 902.07/OZ DOWN -0.0157 Sport results: Six Nations: France 33 vs 31 England | Ireland 17 vs 13 Scotland | Wales 21 vs 24 Italy Premier League: Brighton 0 vs 0 Manchester City | West Ham 1 vs 1 Aston Villa | Everton 0 vs 0 Liverpool | Fulham 3 vs 0 Tottenham Hotspur | Manchester United 0 vs 0 Sheffield United | Luton Town 1 vs 1 Forest | Wolverhampton Wanderers 0 vs 0 Bournemouth | Crystal Palace 0 vs 0 Newcastle | Burnley 2 vs 1 Brentford | Arsenal 0 vs 0 Chelsea LaLiga: Atletico Madrid 0 vs 3 Barcelona | Rayo Vallecano 2 vs 0 Real Betis | Las Palmas 0 vs 1 Almería | Villarreal 1 vs 0 Valencia | Sevilla 1 vs 2 Celta Vigo | Athletic Club 2 vs 0 Deportivo Alaves | Getafe 1 vs 0 Girona | Osasuna 2 vs 4 Real Madrid | Mallorca 1 vs 0 Granada SerieA: Internazionale 1 vs 1 Napoli | AS Roma 1 vs 0 Sassuolo | Atalanta 0 vs 0 Fiorentina | Hellas Verona 1 vs 3 AC Milan | Juventus 0 vs 0 Genoa | Frosinone 2 vs 3 SS Lazio | Salernitana 0 vs 1 Lecce | Monza 1 vs 0 Cagliari | Udinese 0 vs 2 Torino European Championships Qualifying: Leeds United 2 vs 0 Millwall FC | West Bromwich Albion 2 vs 0 Bristol City | Plymouth Argyle 0 vs 1 Preston North End | Rotherham United 0 vs 0 Huddersfield Town | Stoke City 0 vs 3 Norwich City | Middlesbrough 0 vs 0 Blackburn Rovers | Birmingham City 0 vs 1 Watford | Ipswich Town 6 vs 0 Sheffield Wednesday | Sunderland 0 vs 0 Queens Park Rangers | Swansea City 2 vs 0 Cardiff City FA Cup: Manchester United 4 vs 3 Liverpool | Chelsea 4 vs 2 Leicester City | Manchester City 2 vs 0 Newcastle United | Wolverhampton Wanderers 2 vs 3 Coventry City English Championship: Leeds United 2 vs 0 Millwall FC | West Bromwich Albion 2 vs 0 Bristol City | Plymouth Argyle 0 vs 1 Preston North End | Rotherham United 0 vs 0 Huddersfield Town | Stoke City 0 vs 3 Norwich City | Middlesbrough 0 vs 0 Blackburn Rovers | Birmingham City 0 vs 1 Watford | Ipswich Town 6 vs 0 Sheffield Wednesday | Sunderland 0 vs 0 Queens Park Rangers | Swansea City 2 vs 0 Cardiff City Weather: Katima Mulilo: 18° | 37° Rundu: 20° | 38° Eenhana: 20° | 36° Oshakati: 23° | 35° Ruacana: 21° | 36° Tsumeb: 21° | 37° Otjiwarongo: 18° | 35° Omaruru: 20° | 37° Windhoek: 19° | 34° Gobabis: 19° | 36° Henties Bay: 19° | 24° Wind speed: 19km/h, Wind direction: SW, Low tide: 06:31, High tide: 12:45, Low Tide: 18:51, High tide: 01:21 Swakopmund: 17° | 19° Wind speed: 16km/h, Wind direction: W, Low tide: 06:29, High tide: 12:43, Low Tide: 18:49, High tide: 01:19 Walvis Bay: 18° | 26° Wind speed: 22km/h, Wind direction: W, Low tide: 06:29, High tide: 12:42, Low Tide: 18:49, High tide: 01:18 Rehoboth: 18° | 35° Mariental: 24° | 37° Keetmanshoop: 22° | 37° Aranos: 24° | 37° Lüderitz: 24° | 36° Ariamsvlei: 27° | 38° Oranjemund: 17° | 29° Luanda: 27° | 29° Gaborone: 23° | 37° Lubumbashi: 16° | 26° Mbabane: 18° | 22° Maseru: 15° | 33° Antananarivo: 16° | 25° Lilongwe: 17° | 27° Maputo: 23° | 27° Windhoek: 19° | 34° Cape Town: 20° | 27° Durban: 22° | 24° Johannesburg: 18° | 32° Dar es Salaam: 24° | 32° Lusaka: 17° | 28° Harare: 15° | 32° Economic Indicators: Currency: GBP to NAD 24.02 | EUR to NAD 20.57 | CNY to NAD 2.64 | USD to NAD 19 | DZD to NAD 0.14 | AOA to NAD 0.02 | BWP to NAD 1.34 | EGP to NAD 0.39 | KES to NAD 0.14 | NGN to NAD 0.01 | ZMW to NAD 0.73 | ZWL to NAD 0.04 | BRL to NAD 3.76 | RUB to NAD 0.21 | INR to NAD 0.23 | USD to DZD 134.4 | USD to AOA 832.63 | USD to BWP 13.71 | USD to EGP 47.13 | USD to KES 132.48 | USD to NGN 1572.01 | USD to ZAR 19 | USD to ZMW 25.65 | USD to ZWL 321 | Stock Exchange: JSE All Share Index 72430.44 Down -0.77% | Namibian Stock Exchange (NSX) Overall Index 1504.69 Down -0.83% | Casablanca Stock Exchange (CSE) MASI 13085.63 Up +0.17% | Egyptian Exchange (EGX) 30 Index 29091.29 Down -6.34% | Botswana Stock Exchange (BSE) DCI 9055.2 Same 0 | NSX: MTC 7.75 SAME | Anirep 8.99 SAME | Capricorn Investment group 17.34 SAME | FirstRand Namibia Ltd 49 DOWN 0.50% | Letshego Holdings (Namibia) Ltd 4.1 UP 2.50% | Namibia Asset Management Ltd 0.7 SAME | Namibia Breweries Ltd 31.49 UP 0.03% | Nictus Holdings - Nam 2.22 SAME | Oryx Properties Ltd 12.1 UP 1.70% | Paratus Namibia Holdings 11.99 SAME | SBN Holdings 8.45 SAME | Trustco Group Holdings Ltd 0.48 SAME | B2Gold Corporation 47.34 DOWN 1.50% | Local Index closed 677.62 UP 0.12% | Overall Index closed 1534.6 DOWN 0.05% | Osino Resources Corp 19.47 DOWN 2.41% | Commodities: Gold US$ 2 154.06/OZ DOWN -0.0038 | Copper US$ 4.07/lb DOWN -0.0092 | Zinc US$ 2 501.60/T DOWN -1.49% | Brent Crude Oil US$ 86.81/BBP DOWN -0.0028 | Platinum US$ 902.07/OZ DOWN -0.0157