Auntie Nangy

Loss of sexual appetite
Dear Auntie Nangy,
I have been with my boyfriend for nine years and I have now lost my sexual appetite. I don't feel a thing when he touches me. There was a time I used to see romantic SMSes on his phone from other ladies and that made me angry. I am a very jealous lady and I don't trust him anymore. Is that what is causing my loss of sexual interest in him or do I need psychological help?
It could be the reason but have you tried speaking about it? What you can do is to try to work through this suspicion of yours. Psychological help can be helpful to the both of you, not just you alone. Speak to him about your suspicions and what you saw on his phone. If you still want to be in a relationship with him, you will try to work through this. If after nine years you just do not want to be with him anymore, move on. Relationships need to be based on trust.

Twenty girls want me
Dear Auntie Nangy,
I'm a man of a very young age and my problem is that I was in relationship with one girl in 2010. I then left her, but when I left that girl, to this day, I still didn't get a girlfriend up to now. But I have proposed to more than 20 girls. Please auntie give me an idea about my life.

I don't think you should leave one girl with the expectation of quickly replacing her with another one, it doesn't work like that. You might be comparing all the other girls to the one you broke up with in 2005 and thus find it hard to find one that will fit the 'perfect' profile. On the other hand, why don't you rather focus your energy into something else and just let love happen when it does? Give yourself some time and leave the girls alone. Rather concentrate on making a success of your life and just enjoying your company. As you say, you are after all of a very young age so what's the rush?

What turns a guy on?
Dear Auntie Nangy,
What turns a guy on?

It differs from guy to guy. Some guys are turned on by a woman who knows what she wants. Some are turned on by smart women, some by beautiful looking girls and some by two girls making out, some by a girl's sexiness. So it differs with the guy's age and maturity level. If you are thinking about getting intimate with someone, foreplay is also an option. But make sure you know what you are doing before getting yourself into a sticky situation and always use a condom whenever you have sex.

Orgasm trouble
Dear Auntie Nangy,
I've been in this wonderful relationship for more than a year and I love my boyfriend very much. We are also getting married but my problem is that when we have sex, I never get an orgasm but I really enjoy sleeping with him because he does it so right. Can you help me please?

If you really love him then you shouldn't fake it with him. If he is doing it so right, then why doesn't he give you an orgasm? Maybe you should try foreplay or even extra stimulation before actual intercourse begins. You can also try sex toys or masturbation before intercourse.

Is she dating other guys?
Dear Auntie Nangy,
I am a 25-year-old and I'm still in love with my girl, with whom I have been dating for two months. My problem is that she receives many calls and it seems like she's dating other guys, but I don't have a proof. She always says it's her friends, but how will I know if my girlfriend is dating with other guys? I really love her, but I don't want to lose her. What do I do?

Why don't you just try asking her if she is cheating on you? Just because she receives many phone calls a day, doesn't have to mean that she is cheating on you. So try talking to her and let her know how you feel when she is constantly on the phone. If she suddenly loses interest in you and doesn't really want to spend as much time with you as before, then you should start thinking again about your relationship. Two months is a short time to get to know each other and you should be aware that you may not really know this woman yet. If she is indeed cheating, move on and find someone that can love you the way you deserve.

There is no communication
Dear Auntie Nangy,
I'm a 19-year-old girl and my boyfriend is 21. He's a loving, caring guy, who listens to me when I have a problem. However, sometimes we are just quiet without saying anything. I'm afraid he may think I'm the most boring girl he has ever dated or I may even end up losing him. Please help me. I don't know what to do.

If it's not a problem to him, then it shouldn't be a problem with you. If you can just be in each other's company without saying anything, but still enjoy it, then it shouldn't be a problem. On the other hand, if you really want to talk, try talking about your hobbies - things that interest you like family, your hopes and dreams. Also, do activities together, like shopping, watching a movie and even playing games. Just exchange ideas, pick each other's brains and enjoy the company. Don't just be boyfriend and girlfriend, be friends too.