Auntie Nangy

In love, but HIV+

Dear Auntie Nangy

I am a girl and there is this guy that I love and I think he loves me too, but the problem is I’m HIV positive. I am afraid to disclose my status if we ever start dating. Please help Auntie?

Oh, the fact that you acknowledge your concern about disclosing your status is an indication that in the back of your mind, you are aware of his right to know about your status before you two engage sexually. Sure, a lot of stigma still exists, and HIV-positive people are still subjected to a lot of shame, but times have changed. Auntie knows of many happy couples where one partner is HIV positive. HIV is not the death sentence it used to be. The love stage is beyond mere friendship, and auntie can only assume he is a good guy. Sit him down, and speak to him, also tell him that you are willing to see a medical doctor to discuss your options available to minimise to the risk of infecting him. Many couples are on pre-exposure prophylactic drugs while also using condoms and have managed to maintain a healthy and happy sex life. You can too. But you need to lay all your cards on the table, allow him to make an informed decision and decide what’s best for him. Remember, that you do risk losing him; equally, you deserve someone to love you for who you are, for all your strength, radiance, beauty, and yes, with your positive status too. The longer you wait, the more deceptive it would become and the harder it will be to disclose your status.

Can’t have sex on a bed

Dear Auntie Nangy

I have a problem… I don’t know how to make love on bed. What must I do Auntie?

Oh sweet Jesus, Auntie needs a drink for this one. Making love can either be bliss, or go horribly wrong. Auntie learned early on in her wild days, that the secret to blistering orgasms or knee-numbing strokes is communication and observation, speak to your partner about makes him or her tick, and also express what you like under the sheets. Then observe your partner’s reaction, as well as your own and figure out what works best. Good sex is about intimacy, it’s about knowing yourself, and knowing what your partner likes. Also, always practice safe sex.

Terrible twosome

Dear Auntie Nangy

I am dating two guys at the same time they both tell me they love me very much. One of them introduced me to his dad and the father likes me while the other bought me a ring and says he can’t live without me. Auntie for who should I go and how do I choose?

If you could only see Auntie side-eyeing you right now. You should thank God Auntie is saved now. The “what would Jesus do Auntie” would say that you need to take some time to figure out which of the two guys you really love and want to spend your life with, and that’s the one you choose. Your conscience can decide whether you are going to come clean about your deceptive ways so you can build your relationship on trust. But if you asked the not-so-saved Auntie, Auntie would have said that both these guys probably deserve better than your lying, deceiving, manipulative and cheating a**.