Namibian Sun

I am a grown man

Dear Auntie Nangy

I am a 17-year-old, I’m on school break and my mother is a little paranoid with me leaving the house. I want to get a holiday job but she won’t let me leave the house without her freaking out about safety. Please tell me how I can get a job; she doesn’t even support me during the holiday that is why I need it.

That’s too sad. You have to understand where your mother is coming from. We live in a very dangerous world. In fact, the moment you leave your front door anything can happen to you. There is so much crime especially around this time of the year. Your mother doesn’t mean to hurt you, she’s just protecting you. I suggest you talk to someone she trusts to cut you some slack. Make them understand why you want to go out and perhaps you can come to a compromise.

Left out in the cold

Dear Auntie Nangy

I stay with my cousin in Walvis Bay and lately she’s having too many male friends over. Sometimes she chases me out of the room and I have to wait for them to leave the bedroom before I’m allowed back in the house. My cousin provides for me financially and she threatened to send me back to my mother’s house in the north if I complain. I hate staying outside. Please tell me what I should do.

Aww I’m so sorry baby. It sucks when you feel like you are in a bubble and no one understands you or you can’t speak out. I wish I could give you a hug right now. I think the best thing to do is to consider your options really hard and come up with a solution. I wouldn’t exactly say tattle your cousin to your mother, tell her in such a way that she can perhaps speak to your cousin to make her change. Not only is it cold outside, it is also very unsafe. You have to take action now before something happens.

I want to be a mother

Dear Auntie Nangy

A couple of years ago I went to a completely different town to give birth because I was embarrassed and worried that my social status will be harmed by me being a mother. I am so grown and I want to be able to embrace my child as my own and love her. How do I tell my friends she’s mine and I had her when I disappeared four years ago?

Hey baby mama. The fact that you are considering taking back your child means that you have matured and you are ready for the journey that was meant for you. Raising a child is not a walk in the park and one needs maximum support from family and friends. If you feel your friends will not respect or understand what your situation perhaps they are not really your friends. Motherhood is something beautiful that everyone should experience and I don’t think it is fair that your friends take that away from you. Bring your child to where you stay and if your friends don’t accept her then it’s time to move on.

I want it big

Hi Auntie Nangy

My partner has a very small penis and it bothers me greatly. He is the breadwinner and I feel like I’m sacrificing my happiness because he takes care of me financially. What should I do please? I miss enjoying sex.

Oh my dear! I would not want to be you right now. A woman has as much as the man needs. Sexual pleasure is very important and you should be able to get that in your relationship or else you will start to wander into your neighbours’ houses. Look, I say honesty is the best policy and you have to communicate with your partner. Maybe he doesn’t even know that you don’t enjoy sex. Of course he cannot change the size of his penis but there’s modifications and medication that work like magic. Let him know and maybe seek therapy at the same time. I don’t know what your situation is but I don’t think you can rely on him for all your financial needs. You need to get that fixed. Lastly, I wish you strength sister. You will need it.

Who is your daddy?

Dear Auntie Nangy

I had slept with two guys and I’m now expecting. I don’t know whose child it is and I know my boyfriend will leave me if I tell him this. Please help me make the right decision.

Wow. You children amaze me. This is a very sticky situation but I don’t know why you found yourself sleeping around when you actually have a partner. You have to open up to both of them. You have to let them know and because you do grown-up things, you should be ready for the grown-up consequences. Perhaps when the child is born you can get a paternity test to find out who the father is.