20 July 2018 | Life Style
Dear Auntie Nangy, I am a girl of 20 and I am dating a man of the same age as me. It is good to date a man of the same age Auntie?
Child, of course! What could possibly be the problem? You see, you will find men who are 40 and have still not grown up and act like young boys. Then you will find young men of 20 who are mature. So if you and your man are happy and you share the same interests, hobbies and can have long conversations without getting bored, what could possibly be the problem? There are women who date men who are younger than them. There comes a certain point in life when, and this is especially for man, you equalise. So for example, if a man of 40 is acting like a man of 40, he can happily date a woman of say 45. There are no rules here lovie – it is all about how happy you are. Enjoy and go sparkle!
What is a good age gap?
Hi Auntie Nangy,
I am 17 and I want to ask if it is wrong that I am a 21-year-old guy.
What is it with these age questions this week? There is nothing wrong with dating a young man four years your senior. However, in your case, because you are probably in school, you need to be sure that you are ready for any sexual demands that he may make, or, in the alternative, and this is the better one, that the two of you have discussed sex and have decided to abstain. If your man is done with his education, he needs to understand that you have tests and exams. My hope is that he is also still in school or, that he is at college or university. In a nutshell my girl, if he understands that school comes first, keep him. If he does not and he is putting pressure on you to have sex, dump him.
He wants a baby
Dear Auntie Nangy,
I am 19 years old and I have a boyfriend who is always telling me that he wants a baby with me but am not ready to be a mother. What can I do?
Don't have the baby. I am going to say it again, do not have the baby. You are 19… barely more than a baby yourself! You have your whole life ahead of you. Are you done with school? Do you have access to tertiary education? I hope you do. Girl, you need to go and study. Qualify yourself. Build yourself up and work and create a life and a home. Get a driver's licence and find yourself a man who will embark on that journey with you before you have a baby. Do you realise the money a child costs? Can you imagine being tied to a human being that is your responsibility 24/7 at the age of 19? Live, be free and happy. Learn, study and build. Then, marry and have as many children as you want. Tell that man to go child, kick his proverbial arse to the kerb!
Bleeding too often
Dear Auntie Nangy,
I am 16 and I go on my period two times in one month… is something wrong? What must I do?
There is nothing really to worry about, but, you should see a doctor, not a nurse, a doctor. Your hormonal cycle could be out of sync and you could be ovulating twice a month. You need to get that under control. Also, the doctor must give you a pap smear just to make sure everything is okay in your uterus. As I say, do not fret but, do go and see a doctor as soon as you can.
Took abortion pills
Dear Auntie Nangy,
I am 17 and I fell pregnant. I got a number for abortion pills on Facebook and I bought some. I took them but since then, I am bleeding all the time. It has been four weeks. Please help me Auntie.
What have you done? Firstly, it is illegal but most importantly, it is very, very dangerous. Those pills can be made of anything. They force the lining of your uterus down and this is why you bleed. You do not say how far along you were in your pregnancy but, child, you are in danger now. Get to your nearest hospital and do not delay. I am very concerned not only for the amount of blood you have lost, I am very, very worried about the condition of your uterus and your fallopian tubes. This could cause you to become sterile and never have a child in your life. For all of you who are reading this, do not do this. Please ladies, take birth control and also, carry condoms. Learn to use both to protect yourself against not only pregnancy but also STDs and HIV. As for the letter writer, get to a hospital today.