Will the real man please stand up?
Oh, how the world has changed since Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone, the Wright brothers designed and flew the first plane ever, and someone - probably not important enough to mention - invented the analogue wristwatch.
But trivia set, the definition of what constitutes a man is one such thing that has adopted different faces since time immemorial. The 80s, the era in which I was raised, taught us that a man has to be a stature of brute strength, with a hoarse and gravelly voice, and most importantly, a feared fighter among his peers. A feared fighter for he was expected to keep the family pot boiling - by hook or crook.
A tiny squeaky voice, or the inability to boast a fully grown beard were all signs of being too in touch with the feminine side and those ‘unlucky’ enough to possess such traits were considered abnormal. We were always reminded that there was a reason a lion, and not a mouse, became king of the jungle.
This is the same era that demanded a man always care for and protect his family against all odds - even if there appears no way out of the situation. Boys don’t skip ropes, play with dolls or cry. Boys do not belong in the kitchen thus do not clean it or wash dishes. Girls sit on the ground on the left side of the homestead, and boys sit alongside their fathers and uncles on chairs to the right hand side of the homestead - signifying their influence in the family.
Many cultural values teach a woman to always submit to a man, whatever the cost, and she should never question his authority.
Fast forward the setting to beyond 2000, and it becomes an even more of an entangled quadratic equation. Being a man of the 90s, as the phrase is often flaunted, requires that you excel in a wood-chopping contest, be able to interpret Braille and still find time to change the baby’s nappies before dinner.
Today’s man is called upon to understand the jargons of law, be a master at chess and yet have that delicate touch and look when dealing with your partner. Tell her you love her today, tomorrow and forever if you know what’s good for you. Such are the requirements for today’s man. Oh, don’t forget the occasional pair of shoes if you know what’s good for you.
Yes, you are equally responsible for bringing the baby in this world and should therefore contribute equally to his upbringing, we are often reminded by our better halves.
Self-help guides, which have seemingly taken over the logic of the human mind, now ‘confirms’ that the absence of a father figure in a boy’s life is what leads to violent behaviour - like shooting up the entire neighborhood, or knifing his junior high school mates to death before break!
Are you kidding me? Whatever happened to crazy? Can’t a person just be classified as being crazy than attempting the mumbo jumbo about the absence of a father figure?
Never allow your woman to have the last say in the house, traditional male initiation rites remind us. But as a man of “beyond 2000” (no relation to the 90s TV series that painted an enthralling picture of how machines would take over the world after the year 2000, I know better! If you are wise and value your relationship - let her have the last say!
Hollywood instils into the minds of women that a perfect man has to have the face of Brad Pit, the body of Arnold Schwarzenegger and the ‘charms’ of Adam Sandler! My God, try combining these three men by a scientific formula and you will end up with a jumping frog with a hunchback on your door step shouting, “Set me free. Kiss me before midnight. Set me free…!”
So, will the real man - if there exists such a one - please stand up! I, for one, will remain seated for I do not even meet my own ‘selection’ criteria.
Next time you grandmother gives you grief about you being too westernised as a man, and your wife relating how times have changed since Vasco da Gamma’s travellers; tell them the story of how the lion exterminated his subjects that were too opinionated!
Until then…
[email protected]
But trivia set, the definition of what constitutes a man is one such thing that has adopted different faces since time immemorial. The 80s, the era in which I was raised, taught us that a man has to be a stature of brute strength, with a hoarse and gravelly voice, and most importantly, a feared fighter among his peers. A feared fighter for he was expected to keep the family pot boiling - by hook or crook.
A tiny squeaky voice, or the inability to boast a fully grown beard were all signs of being too in touch with the feminine side and those ‘unlucky’ enough to possess such traits were considered abnormal. We were always reminded that there was a reason a lion, and not a mouse, became king of the jungle.
This is the same era that demanded a man always care for and protect his family against all odds - even if there appears no way out of the situation. Boys don’t skip ropes, play with dolls or cry. Boys do not belong in the kitchen thus do not clean it or wash dishes. Girls sit on the ground on the left side of the homestead, and boys sit alongside their fathers and uncles on chairs to the right hand side of the homestead - signifying their influence in the family.
Many cultural values teach a woman to always submit to a man, whatever the cost, and she should never question his authority.
Fast forward the setting to beyond 2000, and it becomes an even more of an entangled quadratic equation. Being a man of the 90s, as the phrase is often flaunted, requires that you excel in a wood-chopping contest, be able to interpret Braille and still find time to change the baby’s nappies before dinner.
Today’s man is called upon to understand the jargons of law, be a master at chess and yet have that delicate touch and look when dealing with your partner. Tell her you love her today, tomorrow and forever if you know what’s good for you. Such are the requirements for today’s man. Oh, don’t forget the occasional pair of shoes if you know what’s good for you.
Yes, you are equally responsible for bringing the baby in this world and should therefore contribute equally to his upbringing, we are often reminded by our better halves.
Self-help guides, which have seemingly taken over the logic of the human mind, now ‘confirms’ that the absence of a father figure in a boy’s life is what leads to violent behaviour - like shooting up the entire neighborhood, or knifing his junior high school mates to death before break!
Are you kidding me? Whatever happened to crazy? Can’t a person just be classified as being crazy than attempting the mumbo jumbo about the absence of a father figure?
Never allow your woman to have the last say in the house, traditional male initiation rites remind us. But as a man of “beyond 2000” (no relation to the 90s TV series that painted an enthralling picture of how machines would take over the world after the year 2000, I know better! If you are wise and value your relationship - let her have the last say!
Hollywood instils into the minds of women that a perfect man has to have the face of Brad Pit, the body of Arnold Schwarzenegger and the ‘charms’ of Adam Sandler! My God, try combining these three men by a scientific formula and you will end up with a jumping frog with a hunchback on your door step shouting, “Set me free. Kiss me before midnight. Set me free…!”
So, will the real man - if there exists such a one - please stand up! I, for one, will remain seated for I do not even meet my own ‘selection’ criteria.
Next time you grandmother gives you grief about you being too westernised as a man, and your wife relating how times have changed since Vasco da Gamma’s travellers; tell them the story of how the lion exterminated his subjects that were too opinionated!
Until then…
[email protected]
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