Take me home, Taxi man

Staff Reporter
No other group of people hear the most sordid tales than those that have had the opportunity to work as Taxi drivers. I tell you, if taxi drivers were to write a book on their work, it will become a bestseller!

I too was once drive a taxi. Ok, I did not have the proper documentation like the ‘openbaar’ but I made some good money for the owner back then.

The problem with driving a taxi is that you get to hear all the gory details of a person’s life when they speak over the phone – and that is downright scary!

A lady once got into my taxi and started arguing over the phone with her man. She yelled and cursed before eventually throwing the phone against the car’s window. Thank god I had Shatterproof glass – at least they did not lie in their advertisements that it is indeed the strongest piece of glass.

Silence soon filled the car as I was too scared to say something that could make her lose it. I mean, I am a man and she had just cursed at one of our species. After dropping everyone else off, I plugged up enough courage and asked my passenger where she wanted to be dropped off.

With teary eyes, she looked up at me and in a soft whisper say “I do not know. I was just put out of the house by my boyfriend…”

That, my dear friends, is the most difficult thing of being a taxi driver.

Look, if it were in the movies, I would have probably driven her to my place, made her a hot cup of coffee and offered her the guest room to cool down. But this is no Hollywood production, it is real life. Trust me, if I show up with that woman at home, my partner Tusnelde would not think it is funny!

I could always lie and tell Tussy that the lady was a cousin of mine from out of town and needed a place for the night. But that too won’t work – the lady in the taxi is coloured. I, on the other side am black, very black! I tell you – my dear Tussy will not buy it.

But there is a lighter side to being a taxi driver too. I am not referring to the ‘small change’ that all taxi drivers are known to chop off the taxi income for the day to buy electricity for their houses. Neither am I referring to those taxi dudes who would offer a lift to any pretty girl in the street free of charge and still end up without their numbers! Relax, I am not talking about J66!

Come to think of it; I do not know why we do that to ourselves. A woman would be walking down the street and you would stop and offer her a lift. You would in fact be begging her to get in the car. Even if she says she is going to Havana Extension 500 – you would take her there before proceeding to work in the CBD – minus her digits!

Some passengers think taxi drivers are dumb people, so I always made sure my English was proper. Instead of saying “have a good day”, I would say something like “May your day be punctuated with a revanchism whose magniloquence can only be theatropistically analysed by the use of a reminiscent exacerbation…”

It worked like a bomb every time! I once loaded three fellas at Pioniers Park in Windhoek. I knew that we would have an argument over payment as they were drunk, so I decided to play a prank on them. After they got on, I simply revved the engine of the vehicle to make it seems like the car is moving.

After five minutes, I stopped revving the engine and announced that we have arrived at their destination. The first dude squeezed N$20.00 note in my hand and got off. The second guy did the same. The third guy was about to do the same when he stopped, gave me a moerse klap to my face before boarding off.

“What was that for?” I asked.

“That is for driving too fast. You almost killed us,” he said.

Eish, I do miss those days indeed.

Until then…

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Namibian Sun 2024-04-19

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European Championships Qualifying: Southampton 3 vs 0 Preston North End English Championship: Southampton 3 vs 0 Preston North End Katima Mulilo: 17° | 34° Rundu: 17° | 34° Eenhana: 18° | 35° Oshakati: 20° | 35° Ruacana: 18° | 35° Tsumeb: 19° | 33° Otjiwarongo: 17° | 31° Omaruru: 19° | 34° Windhoek: 17° | 31° Gobabis: 18° | 31° Henties Bay: 17° | 23° Wind speed: 26km/h, Wind direction: S, Low tide: 07:25, High tide: 13:40, Low Tide: 19:24, High tide: 01:48 Swakopmund: 16° | 19° Wind speed: 30km/h, Wind direction: SW, Low tide: 07:23, High tide: 13:38, Low Tide: 19:22, High tide: 01:46 Walvis Bay: 19° | 26° Wind speed: 36km/h, Wind direction: SW, Low tide: 07:23, High tide: 13:37, Low Tide: 19:22, High tide: 01:45 Rehoboth: 18° | 31° Mariental: 22° | 33° Keetmanshoop: 23° | 35° Aranos: 20° | 32° Lüderitz: 18° | 34° Ariamsvlei: 23° | 37° Oranjemund: 15° | 27° Luanda: 27° | 30° Gaborone: 19° | 32° Lubumbashi: 17° | 26° Mbabane: 15° | 28° Maseru: 11° | 26° Antananarivo: 13° | 25° Lilongwe: 16° | 26° Maputo: 20° | 31° Windhoek: 17° | 31° Cape Town: 16° | 21° Durban: 18° | 28° Johannesburg: 16° | 28° Dar es Salaam: 24° | 29° Lusaka: 18° | 28° Harare: 15° | 28° Currency: GBP to NAD 23.82 | EUR to NAD 20.42 | CNY to NAD 2.64 | USD to NAD 19.15 | DZD to NAD 0.14 | AOA to NAD 0.02 | BWP to NAD 1.34 | EGP to NAD 0.39 | KES to NAD 0.14 | NGN to NAD 0.02 | ZMW to NAD 0.74 | ZWL to NAD 0.04 | BRL to NAD 3.64 | RUB to NAD 0.2 | INR to NAD 0.23 | USD to DZD 133.89 | USD to AOA 832.83 | USD to BWP 13.88 | USD to EGP 48.28 | USD to KES 132.98 | USD to NGN 1147.53 | USD to ZAR 19.15 | USD to ZMW 25.65 | USD to ZWL 321 | Stock Exchange: JSE All Share Index 73271.44 Up +0.38% | Namibian Stock Exchange (NSX) Overall Index 1531.99 Up +0.70% | Casablanca Stock Exchange (CSE) MASI 13455.65 Up +0.53% | Egyptian Exchange (EGX) 30 Index 28332.65 Down -4.5% | Botswana Stock Exchange (BSE) DCI Same 0 | NSX: MTC 7.75 SAME | Anirep 8.99 SAME | Capricorn Investment group 17.34 SAME | FirstRand Namibia Ltd 49 DOWN 0.50% | Letshego Holdings (Namibia) Ltd 4.1 UP 2.50% | Namibia Asset Management Ltd 0.7 SAME | Namibia Breweries Ltd 31.49 UP 0.03% | Nictus Holdings - Nam 2.22 SAME | Oryx Properties Ltd 12.1 UP 1.70% | Paratus Namibia Holdings 11.99 SAME | SBN Holdings 8.45 SAME | Trustco Group Holdings Ltd 0.48 SAME | B2Gold Corporation 47.34 DOWN 1.50% | Local Index closed 677.62 UP 0.12% | Overall Index closed 1534.6 DOWN 0.05% | Osino Resources Corp 19.47 DOWN 2.41% | Commodities: Gold US$ 2 384.07/OZ UP +0.17% | Copper US$ 4.46/lb UP +1.13% | Zinc US$ 2 855.40/T UP 1.19% | Brent Crude Oil US$ 87.35/BBP UP +0.21% | Platinum US$ 930.06/OZ DOWN -0.0066 Sport results: European Championships Qualifying: Southampton 3 vs 0 Preston North End English Championship: Southampton 3 vs 0 Preston North End Weather: Katima Mulilo: 17° | 34° Rundu: 17° | 34° Eenhana: 18° | 35° Oshakati: 20° | 35° Ruacana: 18° | 35° Tsumeb: 19° | 33° Otjiwarongo: 17° | 31° Omaruru: 19° | 34° Windhoek: 17° | 31° Gobabis: 18° | 31° Henties Bay: 17° | 23° Wind speed: 26km/h, Wind direction: S, Low tide: 07:25, High tide: 13:40, Low Tide: 19:24, High tide: 01:48 Swakopmund: 16° | 19° Wind speed: 30km/h, Wind direction: SW, Low tide: 07:23, High tide: 13:38, Low Tide: 19:22, High tide: 01:46 Walvis Bay: 19° | 26° Wind speed: 36km/h, Wind direction: SW, Low tide: 07:23, High tide: 13:37, Low Tide: 19:22, High tide: 01:45 Rehoboth: 18° | 31° Mariental: 22° | 33° Keetmanshoop: 23° | 35° Aranos: 20° | 32° Lüderitz: 18° | 34° Ariamsvlei: 23° | 37° Oranjemund: 15° | 27° Luanda: 27° | 30° Gaborone: 19° | 32° Lubumbashi: 17° | 26° Mbabane: 15° | 28° Maseru: 11° | 26° Antananarivo: 13° | 25° Lilongwe: 16° | 26° Maputo: 20° | 31° Windhoek: 17° | 31° Cape Town: 16° | 21° Durban: 18° | 28° Johannesburg: 16° | 28° Dar es Salaam: 24° | 29° Lusaka: 18° | 28° Harare: 15° | 28° Economic Indicators: Currency: GBP to NAD 23.82 | EUR to NAD 20.42 | CNY to NAD 2.64 | USD to NAD 19.15 | DZD to NAD 0.14 | AOA to NAD 0.02 | BWP to NAD 1.34 | EGP to NAD 0.39 | KES to NAD 0.14 | NGN to NAD 0.02 | ZMW to NAD 0.74 | ZWL to NAD 0.04 | BRL to NAD 3.64 | RUB to NAD 0.2 | INR to NAD 0.23 | USD to DZD 133.89 | USD to AOA 832.83 | USD to BWP 13.88 | USD to EGP 48.28 | USD to KES 132.98 | USD to NGN 1147.53 | USD to ZAR 19.15 | USD to ZMW 25.65 | USD to ZWL 321 | Stock Exchange: JSE All Share Index 73271.44 Up +0.38% | Namibian Stock Exchange (NSX) Overall Index 1531.99 Up +0.70% | Casablanca Stock Exchange (CSE) MASI 13455.65 Up +0.53% | Egyptian Exchange (EGX) 30 Index 28332.65 Down -4.5% | Botswana Stock Exchange (BSE) DCI Same 0 | NSX: MTC 7.75 SAME | Anirep 8.99 SAME | Capricorn Investment group 17.34 SAME | FirstRand Namibia Ltd 49 DOWN 0.50% | Letshego Holdings (Namibia) Ltd 4.1 UP 2.50% | Namibia Asset Management Ltd 0.7 SAME | Namibia Breweries Ltd 31.49 UP 0.03% | Nictus Holdings - Nam 2.22 SAME | Oryx Properties Ltd 12.1 UP 1.70% | Paratus Namibia Holdings 11.99 SAME | SBN Holdings 8.45 SAME | Trustco Group Holdings Ltd 0.48 SAME | B2Gold Corporation 47.34 DOWN 1.50% | Local Index closed 677.62 UP 0.12% | Overall Index closed 1534.6 DOWN 0.05% | Osino Resources Corp 19.47 DOWN 2.41% | Commodities: Gold US$ 2 384.07/OZ UP +0.17% | Copper US$ 4.46/lb UP +1.13% | Zinc US$ 2 855.40/T UP 1.19% | Brent Crude Oil US$ 87.35/BBP UP +0.21% | Platinum US$ 930.06/OZ DOWN -0.0066