I will always love the hood
It is a new year and all and sundry are making promises they will never fulfil by 31 December. Seriously, I do not know why we do that to ourselves. It is probably okay to want to pursue studies for this year as a New Year resolution, but have you made the necessary arrangements before hand - like the money to pay for the studies?
Whatever you do, and whatever your New Year resolutions, never attempt to be someone you are not. It is disheartening to see brothers and sisters desperately try adopting new ways of living.
This they do in the hope that they will not be associated with the humble beginnings they now describe with “Ag, shame” and “Oh, that’s so sad”. And as much as some of us try to fool others into believing we were born with silver spoons in our mouths, and that our forebears once ruled the Republic of Timbuktu - you can’t fool all the people all the time!
Once from the hood, always from the hood brother, you can’t fool us. Everything else being equal, we all came from a background that required us to queue up and wait for our turn to use the single tiny washing basin at home, before taking on the 15-odd kilometres to school. That is of cause not forgetting that the term breakfast to some of us meant brown bread and ‘sugar water’.
So, how do you tell if someone is a true township brother trying to graduate to suburban bliss? Here are the signs.
• You grew up in the township, but since you started work at one or the other large public company, you now rent a flat or townhouse, and suddenly the townships are dangerous and dirty. Yeah, the same place you grew up is now considered noisy and below standard.
• You start every sentence by saying, “The thing is...” with a very strange accent and to complement such an image, you no longer wear All Stars or no-name ‘plakkies’ from Jet Stores. You now opt for Lacoste, Levi and Puma to complement your new image.
• You dumped your long-time, round and cute high school sweetheart for a ‘dark, tall partner’ who drives a Golf GTI. What’s more, KFC and kapana no longer do for lunch - you now eat at exclusive restaurants, ordering anything from calamari and onion rings to chicken livers as starters.
• Hunters, Black Label, Castello and Clubman - the ones you used to guzzle the most - are now regarded as ‘urine’, and you find it hard to believe that a human being can actually let such ‘evil’ down his throat! All these have now been replaced with Jack Daniels, J&B and the lot.
• Today Shoprite is for the poor - you reason that it’s too dirty and packed for your liking and would rather do your grocery shopping at Woolworth’s and family stores.
• The music system and wheels of your car double the price of your car, and the car’s interior smells better than your partner’s perfume.
• If an old friend asks to borrow five bucks, you tell him to come next month because you didn’t budget for him, yet you buy your woman flavoured mineral water for at least N$15 daily, as she ‘cannot stand’ the taste of Swakopmund’s tap water.
• Your cellphone costs more than the floorings in your parents’ house! Also, a friend without a cell and an email address is not a true friend. In fact, you will be talking on the phone with him and ask him for his email address because you want to send him something. What the hell; you can just say it over the phone!
• If he has no set of wheels of his own - and no, a 1980 Merc does apparently not cut it this time - he is relegated to levels below elementary on your hierarchy of ‘best friend’.
• Your old hood (or worse village) friends must call before a visit to your place.
• At your place you don’t have a landline; you strictly use your cell and you only visit your parents (or grandparents) telephonically despite it being a mere 30-minute drive.
Eish, such traitors! I guess such things come naturally and there is no remedy for it.
Until then…
[email protected]
Whatever you do, and whatever your New Year resolutions, never attempt to be someone you are not. It is disheartening to see brothers and sisters desperately try adopting new ways of living.
This they do in the hope that they will not be associated with the humble beginnings they now describe with “Ag, shame” and “Oh, that’s so sad”. And as much as some of us try to fool others into believing we were born with silver spoons in our mouths, and that our forebears once ruled the Republic of Timbuktu - you can’t fool all the people all the time!
Once from the hood, always from the hood brother, you can’t fool us. Everything else being equal, we all came from a background that required us to queue up and wait for our turn to use the single tiny washing basin at home, before taking on the 15-odd kilometres to school. That is of cause not forgetting that the term breakfast to some of us meant brown bread and ‘sugar water’.
So, how do you tell if someone is a true township brother trying to graduate to suburban bliss? Here are the signs.
• You grew up in the township, but since you started work at one or the other large public company, you now rent a flat or townhouse, and suddenly the townships are dangerous and dirty. Yeah, the same place you grew up is now considered noisy and below standard.
• You start every sentence by saying, “The thing is...” with a very strange accent and to complement such an image, you no longer wear All Stars or no-name ‘plakkies’ from Jet Stores. You now opt for Lacoste, Levi and Puma to complement your new image.
• You dumped your long-time, round and cute high school sweetheart for a ‘dark, tall partner’ who drives a Golf GTI. What’s more, KFC and kapana no longer do for lunch - you now eat at exclusive restaurants, ordering anything from calamari and onion rings to chicken livers as starters.
• Hunters, Black Label, Castello and Clubman - the ones you used to guzzle the most - are now regarded as ‘urine’, and you find it hard to believe that a human being can actually let such ‘evil’ down his throat! All these have now been replaced with Jack Daniels, J&B and the lot.
• Today Shoprite is for the poor - you reason that it’s too dirty and packed for your liking and would rather do your grocery shopping at Woolworth’s and family stores.
• The music system and wheels of your car double the price of your car, and the car’s interior smells better than your partner’s perfume.
• If an old friend asks to borrow five bucks, you tell him to come next month because you didn’t budget for him, yet you buy your woman flavoured mineral water for at least N$15 daily, as she ‘cannot stand’ the taste of Swakopmund’s tap water.
• Your cellphone costs more than the floorings in your parents’ house! Also, a friend without a cell and an email address is not a true friend. In fact, you will be talking on the phone with him and ask him for his email address because you want to send him something. What the hell; you can just say it over the phone!
• If he has no set of wheels of his own - and no, a 1980 Merc does apparently not cut it this time - he is relegated to levels below elementary on your hierarchy of ‘best friend’.
• Your old hood (or worse village) friends must call before a visit to your place.
• At your place you don’t have a landline; you strictly use your cell and you only visit your parents (or grandparents) telephonically despite it being a mere 30-minute drive.
Eish, such traitors! I guess such things come naturally and there is no remedy for it.
Until then…
[email protected]
Comments
Namibian Sun
No comments have been left on this article