I am a foolishly wise man

I have always been fascinated by the manner in which TV cops in the United States introduce themselves to suspects. Those guys sound so professional when arriving at a crime scene that you would want to surrender immediately and confess to a crime you did not commit. ?In a cool, but stern voice reminiscent of that moment when a lady you are courting tells you she only wants you as a friend, the NYPD - short for New York Police Department - would introduce themselves: “Good Afternoon Sir, I am Detective John Smith and this is Officer Sloan. We are with the NYPD and would like to ask you some questions with your permission, of course Sir...” ?I always imagine how the same would sound for our Namibian Police.?"Good afternoon, I am Warrant Officer Peya Shikokola and this is Constable Piet Pietertjie Cloete. We are with the Namibian Police…"?In all honesty, our police would not go to such lengths. ?The first thing Warrant Officer Shikokola would ask when he arrives at a murder scene would probably be: “Hey you, which one of you is the suspect? Who killed this man?” You would probably be standing there not knowing whether to admit to the officer that you are indeed the culprit, or rather to point to the person standing next to you. I mean, since the officer is giving you that freedom of choice, why not take it? ?I must admit though - it would be hard to convince a decorated officer who participated in various operations from Operation Desert Jewel to Operation Apocalypse that he has the wrong man. ?Truth be told, I am not the smartest man alive, but there are a few survival tricks I have learnt in my life. I have learnt to listen first before opening my mouth. Well, unless my partner rants about where I have been, in which case I pretend to be talking on the phone to evade the questions. Eish, one would swear she is the journalist! Be that as it may, I consider myself to be a progressive coward. ?The other day I went over to see my neighbour, Dantago, who has a very ferocious-looking dog. As I approached the door, the dog began to bark wildly. Dantago said to me: "Come on in, Charlie! Don't be afraid of my dog. You know the old proverb: A barking dog never bites." ?"Yes," I replied, "I know the proverb, and you know the proverb, but does your dog know it? Before we agree on whether a dog will bite or whether it won’t, we must first make sure the dog is party to the agreement." ?Yeah, that's how I roll. I never leave anything to chance. Dantago is a lucky man - blessed with two little devils for sons! No disrespect, but those kids are the most mischievous, naughty pair I have ever seen - and their parents know it. It took a man of the cloth and a whole bunch of magic touches to get the kids to behave normally. ?The boy's mother once heard that a clergyman in the city had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak to her boys. The clergyman agreed, but asked to see them individually. So the mother sent her eight-year-old first in the morning and the 10-year-old in the afternoon to see the clergyman. ?The clergyman sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, “Where is God?” The boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there with his mouth hanging open, wide-eyed. ?So the clergyman repeated the question in an even sterner tone: “Where is God?!” Again the boy made no attempt to answer. So the clergyman raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, “WHERE IS GOD?!” ?The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dived into his closet, slamming the door behind him. When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, “What happened?” ?The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, “We are in BIG trouble this time, dude! God is missing - and they think WE did it!” ?Until then… [email protected]