I am a foolishly wise man

Staff Reporter
I have always been fascinated by the manner in which the police in United States of America in cities like New York, Los Angeles or San Francisco introduce themselves on TV to their would-be-suspects. Those guys sound so professional when arriving at a crime scene, so much so that you would want to give yourself over immediately for a crime you did not commit.

In a cool but stern voice, reminiscent of that moment when a lady you are courting tells you she only wants you as a friend, the NYPD - short for New York Police Department - would introduce themselves: Good afternoon sir, I am Detective John Smith and this is Officer Sloin. We are with the NYPD and would like to ask you some questions with your permission, of course sir....

I always imagined how the same would sound for our Namibian police.?”Good afternoon, I am Warrant Officer Peya Shikokola and this is Constable Piet Pietertjie Cloete. We are with the Namibian police….”

In all honesty, our Namibian police will not even go to such lengths.

The first thing Warrant Officer Shikokola will ask when he arrives at a murder scene will probably be: Hey you, which one of you is the suspect? Who killed this man? You would probably be standing there not knowing whether to admit to the officer that you are indeed the culprit, or to rather point to the person standing next to you. I mean, since the officer is giving you that freedom of choice, why not take it?

I must admit though - it will be hard to convince a decorated officer, who participated in various operations from Operation Desert Jewel to Operation Apocalypse, that he has the wrong man.

All truth be told, I am not the smartest man alive, but there are a few survival tricks I have learnt in my life. I have learned to listen first before opening my mouth. Well, unless my partner rants about where I have been in which case I pretend to be talking on the phone to evade the questions. Eish, one would swear she is the journalist! Be it as it may, I consider myself to be a progressive coward.

The other day I went over to see my neighbour, Dantago, who has a very ferocious looking dog. As I approached the door, the dog begins to bark wildly. Dantago said to me “Come on in, Charlie! Don't be afraid of my dog. You know the old proverb: A barking dog never bites.”

“Yes,” I replied, “I know the proverb, and you know the proverb, but does your dog know it? Before we have an agreement on whether a dog can bite and whether it cannot, we must first make sure the dog is party to the agreement.”

Yeah, that's how I roll. I never leave anything to chance. Dantago is a lucky man - blessed with two little devils for sons! No disrespect, but those kids are the most mischievous, naughty pair I have ever seen - and their parents know it. It took a man of the cloth and a whole bunch of magic touches to get the kids to behave normally again.

The boys' mother once heard that a clergyman in the city had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The clergyman agreed, but asked to see them individually. So the mother sent her eight-year-old first in the morning and the 10-year-old in the afternoon to see the clergyman.

The clergyman sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, 'Where is God?' They boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there with his mouth hanging open, wide-eyed.

So the clergyman repeated the question in an even sterner tone, 'Where is God?!!' Again the boy made no attempt to answer. So the clergyman raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, 'WHERE IS GOD?!'

The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dived into his closet, slamming the door behind him. When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked what had happened.

The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, 'We are in BIG trouble this time, dude! God is missing - and they think WE did it!'

Until then…



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Namibian Sun 2024-03-28

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Katima Mulilo: 19° | 37° Rundu: 17° | 33° Eenhana: 18° | 33° Oshakati: 20° | 31° Ruacana: 19° | 33° Tsumeb: 17° | 29° Otjiwarongo: 16° | 28° Omaruru: 18° | 31° Windhoek: 17° | 28° Gobabis: 17° | 28° Henties Bay: 16° | 19° Wind speed: 24km/h, Wind direction: S, Low tide: 10:54, High tide: 04:57, Low Tide: 22:58, High tide: 17:16 Swakopmund: 15° | 17° Wind speed: 29km/h, Wind direction: SW, Low tide: 10:52, High tide: 04:55, Low Tide: 22:56, High tide: 17:14 Walvis Bay: 16° | 22° Wind speed: 33km/h, Wind direction: SW, Low tide: 10:52, High tide: 04:54, Low Tide: 22:56, High tide: 17:13 Rehoboth: 18° | 29° Mariental: 22° | 32° Keetmanshoop: 21° | 34° Aranos: 21° | 31° Lüderitz: 15° | 29° Ariamsvlei: 23° | 34° Oranjemund: 15° | 21° Luanda: 27° | 30° Gaborone: 20° | 32° Lubumbashi: 17° | 24° Mbabane: 15° | 23° Maseru: 12° | 28° Antananarivo: 16° | 27° Lilongwe: 17° | 29° Maputo: 20° | 28° Windhoek: 17° | 28° Cape Town: 17° | 23° Durban: 21° | 25° Johannesburg: 18° | 28° Dar es Salaam: 26° | 32° Lusaka: 18° | 30° Harare: 15° | 31° Currency: GBP to NAD 23.99 | EUR to NAD 20.54 | CNY to NAD 2.63 | USD to NAD 19.05 | DZD to NAD 0.14 | AOA to NAD 0.02 | BWP to NAD 1.33 | EGP to NAD 0.39 | KES to NAD 0.14 | NGN to NAD 0.01 | ZMW to NAD 0.74 | ZWL to NAD 0.04 | BRL to NAD 3.8 | RUB to NAD 0.2 | INR to NAD 0.23 | USD to DZD 134.13 | USD to AOA 832.63 | USD to BWP 13.71 | USD to EGP 47.35 | USD to KES 130.98 | USD to NGN 1415.13 | USD to ZAR 19.05 | USD to ZMW 24.97 | USD to ZWL 321 | Stock Exchange: JSE All Share Index 73909.5 Up +0.41% | Namibian Stock Exchange (NSX) Overall Index 1516.02 Down -0.13% | Casablanca Stock Exchange (CSE) MASI 12981.98 Up +0.34% | Egyptian Exchange (EGX) 30 Index 28224.37 Down -2.87% | Botswana Stock Exchange (BSE) DCI Same 0 | NSX: MTC 7.75 SAME | Anirep 8.99 SAME | Capricorn Investment group 17.34 SAME | FirstRand Namibia Ltd 49 DOWN 0.50% | Letshego Holdings (Namibia) Ltd 4.1 UP 2.50% | Namibia Asset Management Ltd 0.7 SAME | Namibia Breweries Ltd 31.49 UP 0.03% | Nictus Holdings - Nam 2.22 SAME | Oryx Properties Ltd 12.1 UP 1.70% | Paratus Namibia Holdings 11.99 SAME | SBN Holdings 8.45 SAME | Trustco Group Holdings Ltd 0.48 SAME | B2Gold Corporation 47.34 DOWN 1.50% | Local Index closed 677.62 UP 0.12% | Overall Index closed 1534.6 DOWN 0.05% | Osino Resources Corp 19.47 DOWN 2.41% | Commodities: Gold US$ 2 208.86/OZ UP +0.83% | Copper US$ 3.97/lb DOWN -0.0028 | Zinc US$ 2 445.40/T DOWN -0.45% | Brent Crude Oil US$ 87.07/BBP UP +0.79% | Platinum US$ 896.85/OZ UP +0.22% Sport results: Weather: Katima Mulilo: 19° | 37° Rundu: 17° | 33° Eenhana: 18° | 33° Oshakati: 20° | 31° Ruacana: 19° | 33° Tsumeb: 17° | 29° Otjiwarongo: 16° | 28° Omaruru: 18° | 31° Windhoek: 17° | 28° Gobabis: 17° | 28° Henties Bay: 16° | 19° Wind speed: 24km/h, Wind direction: S, Low tide: 10:54, High tide: 04:57, Low Tide: 22:58, High tide: 17:16 Swakopmund: 15° | 17° Wind speed: 29km/h, Wind direction: SW, Low tide: 10:52, High tide: 04:55, Low Tide: 22:56, High tide: 17:14 Walvis Bay: 16° | 22° Wind speed: 33km/h, Wind direction: SW, Low tide: 10:52, High tide: 04:54, Low Tide: 22:56, High tide: 17:13 Rehoboth: 18° | 29° Mariental: 22° | 32° Keetmanshoop: 21° | 34° Aranos: 21° | 31° Lüderitz: 15° | 29° Ariamsvlei: 23° | 34° Oranjemund: 15° | 21° Luanda: 27° | 30° Gaborone: 20° | 32° Lubumbashi: 17° | 24° Mbabane: 15° | 23° Maseru: 12° | 28° Antananarivo: 16° | 27° Lilongwe: 17° | 29° Maputo: 20° | 28° Windhoek: 17° | 28° Cape Town: 17° | 23° Durban: 21° | 25° Johannesburg: 18° | 28° Dar es Salaam: 26° | 32° Lusaka: 18° | 30° Harare: 15° | 31° Economic Indicators: Currency: GBP to NAD 23.99 | EUR to NAD 20.54 | CNY to NAD 2.63 | USD to NAD 19.05 | DZD to NAD 0.14 | AOA to NAD 0.02 | BWP to NAD 1.33 | EGP to NAD 0.39 | KES to NAD 0.14 | NGN to NAD 0.01 | ZMW to NAD 0.74 | ZWL to NAD 0.04 | BRL to NAD 3.8 | RUB to NAD 0.2 | INR to NAD 0.23 | USD to DZD 134.13 | USD to AOA 832.63 | USD to BWP 13.71 | USD to EGP 47.35 | USD to KES 130.98 | USD to NGN 1415.13 | USD to ZAR 19.05 | USD to ZMW 24.97 | USD to ZWL 321 | Stock Exchange: JSE All Share Index 73909.5 Up +0.41% | Namibian Stock Exchange (NSX) Overall Index 1516.02 Down -0.13% | Casablanca Stock Exchange (CSE) MASI 12981.98 Up +0.34% | Egyptian Exchange (EGX) 30 Index 28224.37 Down -2.87% | Botswana Stock Exchange (BSE) DCI Same 0 | NSX: MTC 7.75 SAME | Anirep 8.99 SAME | Capricorn Investment group 17.34 SAME | FirstRand Namibia Ltd 49 DOWN 0.50% | Letshego Holdings (Namibia) Ltd 4.1 UP 2.50% | Namibia Asset Management Ltd 0.7 SAME | Namibia Breweries Ltd 31.49 UP 0.03% | Nictus Holdings - Nam 2.22 SAME | Oryx Properties Ltd 12.1 UP 1.70% | Paratus Namibia Holdings 11.99 SAME | SBN Holdings 8.45 SAME | Trustco Group Holdings Ltd 0.48 SAME | B2Gold Corporation 47.34 DOWN 1.50% | Local Index closed 677.62 UP 0.12% | Overall Index closed 1534.6 DOWN 0.05% | Osino Resources Corp 19.47 DOWN 2.41% | Commodities: Gold US$ 2 208.86/OZ UP +0.83% | Copper US$ 3.97/lb DOWN -0.0028 | Zinc US$ 2 445.40/T DOWN -0.45% | Brent Crude Oil US$ 87.07/BBP UP +0.79% | Platinum US$ 896.85/OZ UP +0.22%