Elections ya rocka!

It’s official, today is election day. As I write this, I am standing in a queue in front of Comrade Shutukir (Shoot to Kill) and my good friend Tjeripo. In fact, Tjeripo has no idea what benefits the elections would bring, but because of his loyalty to the party, he decided to join the fray. Behind me in the queue is a comrade from another party. Well, actually he is my neighbour but for one or the other reason he decided not to greet me this morning. The conversation is short, the atmosphere is tense but we are all smiling. That is the spirit of elections we have all wished for. But what got my mind racing was a conversation I had with some people last night, on the eve of election day. I decided to drive around town and check out the night scene, when I stumbled upon a nice cosy bar. I had barely made myself comfortable in a seat near the window (the entire pub was engulfed by cigarette smoke), when a group of friends showed at my table. “You mind if we join you, Comrade,” inquired one. Wow, what are the odds! I had no idea the ‘Kunene Transitional Emancipation for Liberation and Hard Work Party’ (KUTEFOLIHAP) had members in the mighty Omaheke Region as well. I mean, he called me a comrade! “Sure comrades, please join me,” I said. As the night got older, the conversation around the table shifted to politics, with the ladies in the group – who all held post-graduate university degrees from institutions other than Unam – concluding that the country is going to the dogs. “Why can’t Namibia learn from the developed world and improve the standards of living of most of its citizens living below the bread line,” said one. “I agree, I mean it is really high time we stop blaming apartheid for everything and move on to develop our country,” another lady agreed. At that point, a well-nourished man who had been eagerly eavesdropping on the conversation, and who I realised earlier during a conversation with a waiter had difficulties expressing himself in the queen’s lingua, chipped in. “What do you mean when you say apartheid is no blame? Dat is de problem with you young people! Just because you drive ‘be my wifes’ and mashete, you think you can tell elders what to do. We, including myself, died for this country.” The comrade went on to say:"Where were you when we were being bitten by mosquitoes? What were you doing when we were catching bullets with our hands?” A member of the group, who I gathered must belong to another party, could no longer contain his disagreement... “That is exactly the type of politics that requires radical transformation, and taken to a wholly different school of thought and ideology. We need to embrace Ubuntu, and take cognisance of the fact that it is virtue and not pedigree that characterises nobility...” Everyone, including myself, was seen going through the virtual thesaurus in our brains – none of us could make sense of what was just said. To break the tension, I asked if anyone wanted refills. “No Comrade, don’t go,” the group leader whom I had met first said and pulled me down. “This man has it all wrong. What about all that money stolen by selfish people from parastatals and government agencies?” Realising that her friend needed help, of the ladies attempted to offer help. “I guess what comrade ‘AK-47’ meant is that people like himself and comrades ‘Bazooka’ and ‘Shoot to Kill’ over there really suffered and also want a share of the profits,” she said. The conversation then dwelled on how the perceived feud between Mshasho and GMP fans has led to the weakening of the yen against the US dollar – or something like that. By the time the night was over, we had taken over the VIP Pub, shaking our hips and doing the ‘snake’ dance to Ongoro nomundu's ‘Ahi ahi’. Mind you, we even danced to ‘Jaloers Bokkie’, with my learned comrade going “...die levire is vor, my tlane lor...” (die riviere is vol, my trane rol) Ah, what a feeling it is to be at the people’s parliament! Until then... [email protected]