Anger and arrogance
Experts are trying to get to the root of the growing epidemic of domestic murders in Namibia.
Anger and an inability to deal with rejection are among the causes of why Namibian men, some of whom have superiority complexes, continue to brutally maim and kill the women in their lives.
This is according to commentators who were reacting to the latest string of partner violence and murder cases that have rocked the country.
In the latest incidents last week a 29-year-old man killed the mother of his two children and her children and then took his own life.
The man repeatedly chopped the woman with a panga before slitting their throats at Omahenge village in the Ohangwena Region. The man committed suicide afterwards.
In Windhoek, a 35-year-old man killed a woman in their shack in Wanaheda in the early hours of Sunday morning.
The woman's body was found with an axe in her neck and the boyfriend allegedly set the shack on fire after he murdered her.
In another incident on Thursday a Walvis Bay police officer allegedly shot his ex-girlfriend in Kuisebmond with his service pistol. He was arrested after he surrendered himself. Pastor Ngeno Nakamhela told Namibian Sun that there is a hidden anger among some Namibian men causing this violence.
“Some of our men have a hidden anger and they cannot express it in another way than take it out on women. It is a sad reality.”
He said one thing that is also contributing to these violent acts is that some men do not welcome the emancipation of women.
“They do not welcome women being given the freedom to be equal to men. That emancipation of women becomes a threat to men.”
According to Nakamhela men have not been properly prepared for this change and therefore do not know how to deal with women standing up for themselves.
“During various meetings I have come to the conclusion that men do not know how to deal with the situation when women use their own words. When they come out of their cocoon.”
He explained that when there is an argument men feel threatened by women and feel that the only way that they can place women back in that cocoon is by violence or total destruction.
Nakamhela said unless programmes are put in place to help men to work on their anger the problem and their superiority complex will not be addressed properly.
According to him programmes must be put in place where can be encouraged to talk on a platform about their feelings and are willing to participate openly.
The acting secretary-general of the Council of Churches in Namibia (CCN), Ludwig Beukes, said one of the contributing factors is that men especially find it difficult to deal with rejection and do not communicate about their feelings.
“They will coop up their feelings up to the extent of violence.”
He further said when men are rejected it is their ego that is hurt and they want to demonstrate power instead of just accepting and letting go.
Referring to a case Beukes was involved with, he said he was giving pre-marriage counselling to a couple when the woman decided she wanted to break off the relationship. However the man went to her house and demanded that she should give everything back that he had bought her.
Beukes said although she complied the man still broke down the door and shot her in the back before committing suicide.
“He asked for everything back, but still was not happy, because he could not deal with the rejection and accept that the relationship was over.”
Beukes said men should accept that when women break off a relationship it is not because they are a failure, but just because they do not want to be in that relationship any longer.
He further said that society is also contributing to men having the idea that they should be strong and in power, the head of the household, while fatherless children who do not have a role model can also be contributing factors.
“Gender-based violence is continuing the same pattern. There are women who want to get out, but are threatened and then stay because they fear for their lives.”
He said programmes should focus on schoolchildren as violence can already be seen among young children.
“Campaigns are just a money-making business. We must focus on children and have group discussions. Otherwise we are just an ambulance, waiting to react when it happens.”
The project manager at White Ribbon Namibia, Elina Mujuda, said there is a misunderstanding between couples and that some men think that just because they provide for women they have the right to treat and abuse a woman as they want.
She said there is ignorance among certain cultures and that more programmes need to be put in place to train and engage men.
“Currently there is just talk, talk, talk, but no action.”
[email protected]
ELLANIE SMIT
This is according to commentators who were reacting to the latest string of partner violence and murder cases that have rocked the country.
In the latest incidents last week a 29-year-old man killed the mother of his two children and her children and then took his own life.
The man repeatedly chopped the woman with a panga before slitting their throats at Omahenge village in the Ohangwena Region. The man committed suicide afterwards.
In Windhoek, a 35-year-old man killed a woman in their shack in Wanaheda in the early hours of Sunday morning.
The woman's body was found with an axe in her neck and the boyfriend allegedly set the shack on fire after he murdered her.
In another incident on Thursday a Walvis Bay police officer allegedly shot his ex-girlfriend in Kuisebmond with his service pistol. He was arrested after he surrendered himself. Pastor Ngeno Nakamhela told Namibian Sun that there is a hidden anger among some Namibian men causing this violence.
“Some of our men have a hidden anger and they cannot express it in another way than take it out on women. It is a sad reality.”
He said one thing that is also contributing to these violent acts is that some men do not welcome the emancipation of women.
“They do not welcome women being given the freedom to be equal to men. That emancipation of women becomes a threat to men.”
According to Nakamhela men have not been properly prepared for this change and therefore do not know how to deal with women standing up for themselves.
“During various meetings I have come to the conclusion that men do not know how to deal with the situation when women use their own words. When they come out of their cocoon.”
He explained that when there is an argument men feel threatened by women and feel that the only way that they can place women back in that cocoon is by violence or total destruction.
Nakamhela said unless programmes are put in place to help men to work on their anger the problem and their superiority complex will not be addressed properly.
According to him programmes must be put in place where can be encouraged to talk on a platform about their feelings and are willing to participate openly.
The acting secretary-general of the Council of Churches in Namibia (CCN), Ludwig Beukes, said one of the contributing factors is that men especially find it difficult to deal with rejection and do not communicate about their feelings.
“They will coop up their feelings up to the extent of violence.”
He further said when men are rejected it is their ego that is hurt and they want to demonstrate power instead of just accepting and letting go.
Referring to a case Beukes was involved with, he said he was giving pre-marriage counselling to a couple when the woman decided she wanted to break off the relationship. However the man went to her house and demanded that she should give everything back that he had bought her.
Beukes said although she complied the man still broke down the door and shot her in the back before committing suicide.
“He asked for everything back, but still was not happy, because he could not deal with the rejection and accept that the relationship was over.”
Beukes said men should accept that when women break off a relationship it is not because they are a failure, but just because they do not want to be in that relationship any longer.
He further said that society is also contributing to men having the idea that they should be strong and in power, the head of the household, while fatherless children who do not have a role model can also be contributing factors.
“Gender-based violence is continuing the same pattern. There are women who want to get out, but are threatened and then stay because they fear for their lives.”
He said programmes should focus on schoolchildren as violence can already be seen among young children.
“Campaigns are just a money-making business. We must focus on children and have group discussions. Otherwise we are just an ambulance, waiting to react when it happens.”
The project manager at White Ribbon Namibia, Elina Mujuda, said there is a misunderstanding between couples and that some men think that just because they provide for women they have the right to treat and abuse a woman as they want.
She said there is ignorance among certain cultures and that more programmes need to be put in place to train and engage men.
“Currently there is just talk, talk, talk, but no action.”
[email protected]
ELLANIE SMIT
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