Cheap Date

Worried that his son was spending too much money on dates, Little Johnny’s Father asked how much his last date had cost. Little Johnny calculated a minute then replied, “Oh, about N$45 or so I think.”

“Well,” said his Father, “I’m proud of you for finally coming up with an inexpensive evening.”

“To be honest Dad,” Little Johnny went on, “we’d have done more, but that was all the money she had.”

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Efficiency Expert An efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution.

“You don’t want to try these techniques at home.” “Why not?” asked somebody from the audience. “I watched my wife’s routine at breakfast for years,” the expert explained.

“She made lots of trips between the refrigerator, stove, table and cabinets, often carrying a single item at a time. One day I told her, ‘Hon, why don’t you try carrying several things at once?’”

“Did it save time?” the person in the audience asked. “Actually, yes,” replied the expert. “It used to take her 20 minutes to make breakfast. Now I do it in seven.”

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100 Camels

As US tourists in Israel, Morris and his wife were sitting outside a Bethlehem souvenir shop, waiting for fellow tourists. An Arab salesman approached them carrying belts.

After an impassioned sales talk yielded no results, he asked where they were from. “America,” Morris replied. Looking at her dark hair and olive skin, the Arab responded.

“She’s not from the States.” “Yes I am.” said the wife. He looked at her and asked.

“Is he your husband?” “Yes.” she replied. Turning to the husband, he said.... “I’ll give you 100 camels for her.” Morris looked stunned, and there was a long silence. Finally he replied, “She’s not for sale.”

After the salesman left, the somewhat indignant wife asked “Morris what took you so long to answer? Morris replied, “I was trying to figure out how to get 100 camels back home.”

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Bad News A secretary walked into her boss’s office & said, “I’m afraid I’ve got some bad news for you.” “Why do you always have to give me bad news?” he complained.

“Tell me some good news for once.” “Alright, here’s some good news,” said the secretary. “You’re not sterile.”

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Curing a Cough The owner of a drugstore arrives at work to find a man leaning heavily against a wall. The owner goes inside and asks his clerk what’s up.

“He wanted something for his cough, but I couldn’t find the cough syrup,” the clerk explains. “So I gave him a laxative and told him to take it all at once.”

“Laxatives won’t cure a cough, you idiot,” the owner shouts angrily. “Sure it will,” the clerk says, pointing at the man leaning on the wall. “Look at him. He’s afraid to cough.”