Submitted by Sun Reporter2 on Mon, 2013-03-11 11:26
Question:
Dear Auntie Nangy, I’m a 19 year-old girl and my boyfriend is 21. He’s a loving, caring guy, who listens to me when I have a problem. However, sometimes we are just quiet without saying anything. I’m afraid he may think I’m the most boring girl he has ever dated or I may even end up losing him. Please help me. I don’t know what to do.
Answer:
If it’s not a problem to him, then it shouldn’t be a problem with you. If you can just be in each other’s company without saying anything, but still enjoy it, then it shouldn’t be a problem. On the other hand, if you really want to talk, try talking about your hobbies - things that interest you like family, your hopes and dreams. Also, do activities together, like shopping, watching a movie and even playing games. Just exchange ideas, pick each other’s brains and enjoy the company. Don’t just be boyfriend and girlfriend, be friends too.
Submitted by Sun Reporter2 on Fri, 2013-03-08 10:08
Question:
Dear Aunty Nangy I love my job and the environment is great. The problem is my boss has been touching me in inappropriate places and making moves on me. It has become really hard to concentrate and get my work done with him around as I’m always uncomfortable. He is a very powerful man and I’m afraid to even lay a case of harassment against him as it would be his word against mine. Is it wise to get a new job? Please help.
Answer:
Tell him fi rmly and calmly to stop, if you haven’t already. It sounds like the pig is doing it because he knows you know about his ‘power’. But do not forget, dear, that no one is above the law. Let your boss know that he may be the boss at work, but you are the boss of your body. When, or if, you lay a charge, things at work may change for the worse, so you might actually have to look for a new job. These are just some of the possible scenarios. If you do not report this, then how long will it continue, and how far may it go? Ask these questions and embark on the action which protects you and others he may be harassing.
Submitted by Sun Reporter2 on Fri, 2013-03-08 10:08
Question:
Dear Aunty Nangy I am a 39-year-old single man and I am looking for someone who is also lonely like me. Please help me to find a female friend who’s in the same boat. I don’t drink or smoke and I like everything positive in life. Aunty, I hope you will help me, even if you do not hook up single people in the paper. Thank you very much for your column to help us with advice.
Answer:
My dear, it is auntie’s pleasure and privilege to give all of you advice and some guidance. As far as love is concerned, you should not force it. Try to develop new hobbies and interests and socialise with people in these new environments. There are many decent, good women out there and they are dying to meet a man like you! Good luck and let auntie know what happens!
Submitted by Sun Reporter2 on Fri, 2013-03-08 10:07
Question:
Dear Aunty Nangy I am going out with a guy who I recently stayed with for three years. The problem is that he is one year younger than me and also that my parents are not happy about it. I was born in 1986 and my boyfriend in 1987. Is it wrong to date a guy younger than you are, does love really have to do with age?
Answer:
If you are happy with this guy and he treats you right, then age should not come between the two of you. Try talking to your parents and fi nd out if there is any other reason why they do not want you to go further with this relationship. Communication is very important.
Submitted by Sun Reporter2 on Fri, 2013-03-08 10:07
Question:
Auntie Nangy, I am 21-year-old student at Unam. I am going out with a 39-year-old man. He is not married and is great fun to be with. I am not really in love with him, but the benefi ts are “lekker jong”. I always have money and he takes me for shopping anytime I ask for it. We even go to eat out at expensive places and go to the Coast for holidays. He even pays my university fees, among many other things. I have lost a lot of friends, who say that I’m just using him as a “sugar daddy”. We have sex regularly and we are both HIV-negative. I feel people do not understand our relationship and they are very judgemental. I am not a gold digger as they say - I’m just having “expensive fun.” Is that so bad?
Answer:
You say you’re not a gold digger, but you ain’t messing with no broke, broke. Let’s be straight. You are a gold digger! You say so yourself. You in it for the benefi ts! This man is old enough to be your father and If people who think you’re just using him are dead right! In the long run, you need to respect yourself and take care of your destiny. Remember, your actions today will have an e_ ect on tomorrow’s consequences.
Submitted by Sun Reporter2 on Fri, 2013-03-08 10:07
Question:
Auntie Nangy, I am a guy of 27 and I have a steady job. About three years ago, I met my girlfriend and we immediately got married. We have a two-year-old son, but I recently realised that my wife is unfaithful. I confronted her about it and she told me to leave her alone or even divorce her. I am worried that she may contract HIV/Aids. I am not sure whether I still want to stay in this relationship, but I also do not want to be alone. I don’t know what to do. Please help.
Answer:
You have managed to secure yourself a job in this harsh world we live in. You did not give up on life irrespective of your circumstances, and for that, I applaud you. I would suggest that you see a marriage counsellor about your problems. If you are really sure that she is cheating on you, then you have some tough choices to make. It is no use holding onto someone who does not want to be in a committed and faithful relationship. This is like holding on tight to a cactus - you will be the one who gets hurt the most. Auntie believes that you are entitled to get on with your life and fi nd someone who truly loves and respects you. You can still make arrangements to secure the baby’s future without being romantically involved with this woman.
Submitted by Sun Reporter2 on Thu, 2013-03-07 08:13
Question:
Dear Auntie Nangy I am an 18-year-old girl, my friends and I went out and they tried to force me to use drugs. I said no and I feel like breaking o_ my friendship with them, but I’m scared they will kill me. I need your help Auntie.
Answer:
These people are NOT your friends. Anybody that forces you to do anything against your will is not somebody that you want to be associated with. Drugs are illegal and can land you in serious trouble with the police. Do everything in your power to get out of this situation. Talk to your parents or someone in a position of trust, who has the knowledge and experience to help you. You can even make an anonymous phone call to the police and give them the names of these people and they will deal with the problem. Don’t be afraid that they will hurt you, because they will realise they will get in such a lot of trouble with the police if they try anything. Dear, I cannot emphasise enough that you must avoid these people at all cost. Drugs have caused the ruin of so many people and it is just not worth getting involved in this evil practice at.
Submitted by Sun Reporter2 on Thu, 2013-03-07 08:13
Question:
Dear Auntie Nangy, I have two problems with my body and I don’t think it’s natural. The fi rst thing is that my face is full of marks and blemishes, which I got after I used a certain cream. Secondly my breasts and buttocks are growing bigger and bigger every day. What can I do to control these problems?
Answer:
Depending on the type of cream and how you used it, the marks and blemishes can very well be caused by the fact that you are allergic to it or that you used it incorrectly. It would be best if you see a dermatologist about this problem. The fact that your breasts and buttocks are growing is probably something that you inherited from your parents. You can change it to a certain extent by eating correctly and exercising, but I’m pretty sure that your image of yourself is not how other people see you. Make peace with yourself and your body and concentrate on all the wonderful traits that you have and don’t hide away, but live your life to its fullest. Learning to love and appreciate your uniqueness and shape, will lead to many other areas of your life improving.
Submitted by Sun Reporter2 on Thu, 2013-03-07 08:13
Question:
Dear Auntie Nangy, I need help. When I was younger, about 17, my penis was big. But now that I’m 27 it seems like it’s getting smaller, like a child’s! I have lost many girls because of my small penis. What can I do about this? Penises
Answer:
don’t shrink unless you use steroids or some other medication that have the female progesterone hormone in it. Maybe you just have trouble seeing your penis, because you have grown a belly in the ten years. I also can’t understand how you can lose many girls because of your penis, unless you just whip it out and show it to them. Believe me that will cause any girl to run away very fast. Or maybe your penis is rude to them and you should teach it some manners.
Submitted by Sun Reporter2 on Thu, 2013-03-07 08:13
Question:
Dear Auntie Nangy, I am a working man, but I struggle to manage my fi nances. When I get paid I withdraw too much in just one week. I use the money for drinking beer and eating nice food at work. What can I do to stop this bad thing? I want to help my family, but when they ask me for money, I never have any and this causes them to disrespect me.
Answer:
You need to draw up a budget that you must stick to. Believe me, it takes a lot of discipline, but in the end it is worth it. Make a list of all your expenses and pay them first. Then see what you have left and save a fixed amount of money every month. Make sure that you set aside a certain amount that you can spend on yourself. Discipline yourself to only use this amount and nothing more. Looking after your money and learning to be in charge of your finances is very important. You can do it by not spending recklessly on beers on beers for ladies and your friends. In fact, stay away from shebeens and other drinking holes during the first week or two after payday. This is half the battle won already!
